Shizou's Journal (Chapter 1) Good old friend's diary

[Ragna]

This history is from a no-player.Shizou was a fantastic character that saved Ragna in his main story,Ragna returned to see his village again alone,it was empty.The bodies were still there,so he made a grave for every body.After that,he gone to Shizou's house to leave some presents for him...He found a book called ,,The History of mine by Shizou"..Well,Ragna got the book and started reading.

Welcome to my past.This is the book that I will write everything interesting moment in my life.

CHAPTER 1,PAGE 1
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Today is my fifth birthday!!!My friends and I would hang out but I heard that my aunt will soon have a new baby,so I have to keep her safe,besides,what medical ninja am I.It is 3 in the night and it is time for the baby to born,and then I will finally go to sleep,I'm so tired.My new buddy just came out,his name is Ragna,I will be the best cousin ever,I swear it.Well,it is time for me to go to sleep.

CHAPTER 1,PAGE 2
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Hello again,1 year passed since I last wrote.Not a lot of things happened,but yesterday my cousin walked for the first time,I was so happy to see that.Now I am six years old and I can finally go to my village's little academy to study and be a better shinobi my self!!!Me and Ragna have great times together,we are eating ramen together,go fishing together and training with kunai and shuriken,I really love him,I feel like,he is my brother.

CHAPTER 1,PAGE 3
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Ragna is 2 now,but I need to go,I have to go to a mission to help Inferunogakure.I was chosen for that mission because I am one of the greatest medical shinobis in my clan,I know I'm little but I'm still good.I'm in the mission,the inferno shinobis are really good and friendly,I like them.Well it is time to move,see you later.Our mission is to spot some spies and kill them,we already are curious about some people.A lot of months passed an we found the spies,now it's our time to move.Wow,that was hard,at least we won and no-one died.We had to deal with a kind of spies visitors,they were really strong,and it took many months too.Now it's the time to get back to my village,finally.

WELL
This is it for chapter one,tell me what you think.


 : Shizou Zeimatsu :

[Toratsume Nyshn]

...My new buddy just came out,his name is...

Errr...
Not sure if you are just writing excerpts from this guy's diary which are focused on Ragna.
If that's the case, then its fine.

If not,
P.S. don't read this part if it is the first case.
I'd like to state that a diary is maintained either on a daily basis or on eventful dates.
In this case, I'm sure this person Must have had more memorable experiences other than things related to ragna.
I'd like to see other stuff too, like picking up fights, meeting a cool shinobi, his sixth birthday, 7th birthday... friends' birthdays, adventures, etc.
Covering only Ragna memories would be a bit boring since I'm supposing you'll make a different story for him.
Finally, I'd suggest you get someone to proof read your works before you post.... someone good with english.
Hab fun

[Ragna]

...My new buddy just came out,his name is...

Errr...
Not sure if you are just writing excerpts from this guy's diary which are focused on Ragna.
If that's the case, then its fine.

If not,
P.S. don't read this part if it is the first case.
I'd like to state that a diary is maintained either on a daily basis or on eventful dates.
In this case, I'm sure this person Must have had more memorable experiences other than things related to ragna.
I'd like to see other stuff too, like picking up fights, meeting a cool shinobi, his sixth birthday, 7th birthday... friends' birthdays, adventures, etc.
Covering only Ragna memories would be a bit boring since I'm supposing you'll make a different story for him.
Finally, I'd suggest you get someone to proof read your works before you post.... someone good with english.
Hab fun

I will focus in Shizou in the next chapters,and yes I have to find someone
Thnx for the replies they makes me better

[mamita]

honestly even if it could use a proof reader it's still entertaining to read,!