Diaries of Fear - Arc 1

[Alanok]

What is this? A short project for entertainment purposes. A non-canon story that may contain parody elements, inspired by the SLO universe Vregverse that happen in its own universe: the DoF universe (or whatever way you want to call this reality). A fiction about a SLO character and his adventures.

Disclaimers, warnings, etc… stuff you theoretically should read but probably will not:

Spoiler: show

May contain mild violence, drug references, sexual references and mild offensive language. Not advised for a young audience (or anyone with a neuron count of two or higher).

The author does not owns all of the characters. Some are creation of other users and for them should go their merited credit for creating those specific characters.

The text that compose this story was originally posted on the official forum of the game Shinobi Life Online and reproducing the whole text or fragments of the text outside said forum without giving proper credits is not recommended.

The characters, events and situations described in this story have no relation with the real world. Any similarities are merely coincidence.

Diaries of Fear – Arc 1

Episode 1 – Baby’s First Steps

The great hero of the century was sleeping in his bed, clueless about his surroundings. All of a sudden, the window broke open, a figure was standing there with a cool pose, the right hand closed and touching the ground and around him, pieces of glass. However, at this point, our hero had already jumped out of the bed, announcing:

_Your presence do not surprise me, villainous villain. I should know it was you, no one less than Swift Pigeon, my arch nemesis – said our majestic hero.

_Oh, what a cunning vision you have there. This time however, I will be the one to beat you, Captain Osoman.

Swift Pigeon threw a kunai in his direction, but it was of no effect. Sparks appeared as the kunai collided with his body. Osoman ripped his own shirt, revealing his big muscles, shiny and magically oiled muscles that is. Osoman replied:

_Your puny kunai is no match for my super manly man muscles. Besides, you already tried that before. I am sure you remember how it ended last time.

_Yes, but this time fool, I will combine my superior speed with my power. Not even your muscle can resist my new technique – said Pigeon as he reached his pocket for another kunai – Piercing Pointed Feather!

Swift Pigeon jumped high and used his legs on the roof to give him impulse downside. In the last moment, however, Captain Osoman punched his face, throwing him far away, in the window direction. With his nemesis unconscious on the street, Captain Osoman smiled and celebrated his might victory.

Ha, now let take a rest here. If you think this is a story about a superhero and his incredible adventures, then oh my, you are surely wrong. Now look here at what actually happened with Osoreito, the protagonist of this story.

Date of log: 1 hour before joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust).

Osoreito was sleeping comfortably, and eventually woke up. Suddenly, he realized, his bed was full of pigeons. In that moment, he jumped in terror, for seeing the scene. He waved his arms and screamed. The pigeons were flying everywhere. Eventually the pigeons flew away, in the open window. With his heart still beating fast, Osoreito was trying to understand the situation.

_Oh, the window was open, which must be the reason for why those pigeons were there. I probably forgot to close it – said Osoreito while thinking for a moment – no, wait a second.

He realized terrified, suddenly, that it would not be possible.

_B-but I closed the window yesterday. Would not it mean the pigeons opened the window by themselves? – He was standing there for a moment, but he had not time to worry about that and proceeded with his day.

He looked from the window for a moment, and the pigeons were not around. His room was in the third floor and the neighborhood was relatively wealthy. After the daily duties, Osoreito went to the front door and got the journal, exclaiming.

_Ah, my favorite, Dusty Journal! I have enough time to read the cover.

The title says “Rise in Parents Deaths”, and bellow, “Watch out if you have children, there has been a rise in deaths by the hands of criminals everywhere and they seem to have a preference for persons with children. Many kids are becoming orphans consequently. Read more in page 6”.

_Oh, poor kids. Now I really need to go, I will read the rest later.

Osoreito proceeded to walk the street. Today he would start serving the Intelligence Division for the first time. Eventually, he reached the kage’s building, a big construction with people entering and exiting constantly. After getting into the reception, he looked for the balcony. A black haired man was attending the persons, one after another.

_And you there? – said the man.

_I graduated recently in the ninja academy. I applied for the Intelligence D… – Osoreito could not complete the sentence, the man interrupted him.

_So you are the new member, hello I am Rinku. Sorry but I cannot talk with you right now, I am busy as you can see. Just go through this corridor there – he pointed – Hanaka is already waiting for you.

Osoreito went there, and looked around for a while, perceiving the numerous doors and corridors that connected there. Finally, he found the right office and slowly approached.

_You are late! – shouted someone from inside, but Osoreito was still outside the office and could not see anyone.

_What?

_It is your first day – Osoreito finished joining the place by this point – and you are already coming late, this is going to be a long year.

_Oh, you know that I am the new member without even asking me.

_One of our most important jobs is… know stuff. Now, stop changing the subject, why are you late?

_Killer pigeons attacked me. I swear!

_What the… – she stared with an incredulous face – I have no time for your crazy stories. I am Hanaka, your superior for now on. Wait, I will assign you to a mission now – she searched among some papers – here, today is the janitor’s day off, but the west corridors still need some cleaning. Now take a broom and go!

_C-cleaning? That is not exactly what I was expect… – Hanaka interrupted him.

_Now!

Osoreito went to clean the corridors, as there was little to no choice. Halfway of the process however, the boredom got him and his mind was soon somewhere else.

_Take this, evil ninjas – he started swinging the broom – evil ninjas got no chance against the broom of justice. Captain Osoman will vanquish you all!

Suddenly a girl dressed in green came crossing the corridor, she looked young but after a closer inspection, it became clear that she was actually an adult. Osoreito tried to hide the broom as soon as possible. The girl dressed in green asked:

_Why are you hiding this broom? Should not you be cleaning the place?

_Eh, I am… I am cleaning the wall behind me.

_Oh, how resourceful – she smiled – but I do not think you will finish anytime soon, that is, if you keep sweeping “evil ninjas”. Ha.

She went through a door. Osoreito eventually ended his duty, and got back home to end his day. After wishing his family a good night, he went to his bedroom. He found a group of empty pages in his room and decided to take note of any important event that happen in his daily life. What kind of notes possibly awaits him, in the future?


Osoreito (Alanok):
Appearance: Tall and chubby man with brown eyes, black short curvy hair and a long beard that wears beige clothing and a black coat.
About: He is an unexperienced shinobi that recently graduated in a shinobi academy. He joined the Intelligence Division of Hokorigakure recently and started to take notes of his adventures in a few old blank pages, using it as a diary.
Link:https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=3287.msg56646#msg56646

Rinku:
Appearance: Tall and strong man with a black hair that wear a uniform from Hokorigakure’s forces frequently.
About: He is an optimist and friendly person that have a close relationship with most of his coworkers. He work as a receptionist in the kage’s building.

Hanaka:
Appearance: Woman with brown hair that wear a red coat with a flower embroidery in the back.
About: She is an impatient and bad-tempered person. She have a high position in Hokorigakure’s Intelligence Division.


More episodes coming soon. Maybe weekly. Or every 15 days. Or monthly. Or next year. Who am I trying to fool, I cannot grant anything ever *rolls bellow a table and start crying*.

[StriderOtaku]

Hahaha..I cannot even..this is gold, lmao.'The title says “Rise in Parents Deaths”, and bellow, “Watch out if you have children, there has been a rise in deaths by the hands of criminals everywhere and they seem to have a preference for persons with children. Many kids are becoming orphans consequently. Read more in page 6”.'
Wtf, roflNice one silver-tongue, teach 'em killer pigeons a lesson!

[HiChikara]

Lol! A fun read on forum after quite a while. Commendable

[Toratsume Nyshn]

You have won my heart with this.
Purassu reppu datte bayo!!!

[Manuster]

ahhh

true slo lore

so it is the pidgeons that have rendered so many shinobi as orphans

[Alanok]

Episode 2 – All-Seeing Fox

Date of log: 1 day after joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust)

Osoreito woke up, elevating his arms with closed hands. This was a better morning than the one he had yesterday. He quickly looked at the window direction and there was no pigeon at sight, what a relief.

_Ah, I see, my life is safe for now – said Osoreito while looking at the ground with a smile – hold on, what is t… eh, what?

A drop of sweat fell into the ground. The tension was rising. The window was not open, but there was a pigeon feather in the ground. Again, he got the feeling that the pigeons had invaded his room during the night. He had not time to worry about it, but he still felt uneasy.

Osoreito went down the stairs and saw his mother working on something. Was she taking care of the family accounting? Probably. There was papers everywhere and numbers. In that house, everyone help a little bit in the family business.

_When does my sister and my father come back? – Osoreito asked, since his sister was getting involved in his father’s travels often, lately.

 _Hello darling, they are coming soon. It will just take a few days or weeks maybe.

After doing his daily duties, Osoreito went to the front door to take his favorite journal. Yes, it was there, the delivery kid was doing his job well, leaving a copy of the journal in the front of Osoreito’s house daily.

_Ah, it is here, my favorite journal… the Dusty Journal! Now that I come to think about it, I still owe that boy some coins.

The title says “Old Lady Assaults and Threatens People during Event”, and bellow, “During an important event an old lady had a mental breakdown, witnesses said she was screaming things on the lines ‘Death to water users!’, ‘Water ninjutsu is impure!’ and ‘Only the deformed and disabled uses water techniques’. Read more in page 6”.

_This is… peculiar. I do not know what to think.

Osoreito proceeded to his workplace, this time, maybe this time he would not get late. On his way he found a group of little girls, they were singing something.

_What is the young generation singing? I wonder if it is about the values and morals, common in this village. I bet our children is virtuous.

He tried to hear something while walking, “Yeah, yeah I…” was one the fragments he got. It was hard to hear anything so he tried again, “…it makes me feel squishy, it makes me feel good…” but it was still hard. He even tried to slow down his pace, and got this: “…I am dad…princess but I am also a w…” it was too far. He gave up and ended up realizing he was wasting his time instead of heading to work.

In the midway to his workplace, he got interrupted by a bald man. The man said:

_Hey, dude… I can dance. Can you dance?

_What?

_This is it! I challenge you to a dance duel. Do you have the moves?

_I, wait, what? No, I cannot dance right now. I am going to be late… – The man interrupted him.

That person started to dance, in the middle of the street, for no reason at all. It took some time until Osoreito finally got away from that situation. Eventually he reached the kage’s building, entering the right office. Hanaka gave him a serious look.

_Late! – said her.

_A man challenged me to some kind of epic dance duel, and I tried to refuse… – Hanaka Interrupted him.

_Wait, what? I do not have any time for your crazy stories. Today you travel to the village’s border. You need to take a message to Vizier. Here, I will give you the enclosed message.

_But I do not know the coordinates. Who is even Vizier anyway?

_Now!

Osoreito went to the (eventually) specified place. He found a desert building, with two guards in the front. They were muscled, big, tough and serious looking. Even from that distance, he could feel their chakra, besides not being a sensory ninja. He said:

_Eh… is this where I can find Vizier?

_Slow down, do not move. Who are you? What would you want with Vizier?

He showed the message, with an official seal in it and one of the guards entered the place. The other guard, in his left side, who was silent until now said:

_You cannot enter yet. Let your equipment here on the outside.

Osoreito removed the senbons in his sleeves, leaving the packs of senbon in the ground.

_Put your equipment in the ground – said the guard.

_What equipment?

_...

_Fine – said Osoreito while removing senbon packs from his chest and putting them on the ground.

_Put your equipment in the ground – repeated the guard.

_What? This is absurd.

_All of it.

Osoreito complained, while sitting in the ground and removing senbon packs from his shoes, then from the pockets in his pants and lastly on the back of his coat. The other guard returned and announced:

_You may enter. Be respectful towards the Desert Fox.

He met Vizier in a room. The person was meditating, and as soon as he noticed the presence in his room, he started talking.

_Take a seat – said Vizier, pointing to a cushion.

Osoreito approached slowly and left the message in a small table in the center of the room.

_The winds told me you would bring me this – replied Vizier, after seeing the message in the table.

_Winds? Is that how you call those big boys out there?

_Your attempt of mockery have no effect in my old ears, honed by the desert. Had you said that to one of our enemies, however, would have made you leave this place without your tongue.

_Forgive me, but I did not intend to mock you. I just received a weird welcome from your ‘overly protective’ bodyguards.

_Your observation however was correct, about the ‘big boys’ out there being overly protective to me. I apologize if your reception was not the warmest, but this desert is becoming more dangerous as time passes and the Kage is worried about my safety, since I am his trusted advisor for now. That is all for now, you may leave now.

Osoreito thanked and bowed, leaving right after. He reported the success of his mission and went back home to end his day. He wished his mother a good night and went to sleep.


Vizier (SirTroll):
Appearance: Tall and strong man with green eyes and black hair that wear typical desert clothing and keep the face covered when traveling.
About: He is a mysterious, respected and experienced shinobi from Hokorigakure. Lately, the Kage has been more worried about his security since he is an important counselor. What could possibly be causing the desert to become more dangerous lately?
Link:https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2096.msg29453#msg29453

[Yamasukage]

Sweet read dude XD the humour here is epic AF

[StriderOtaku]

Great again, man. Please continue this.

Spoiler: show

I don't think that there's anyone within the village that wouldn't know Vizier tho..

[Manuster]

I dont know if its intentional, but I feel as though everyone in the story is just slightly retarded...

[Alanok]

Episode 3 – Symphonic Opening

Date of log: 2 days after joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust)

Osoreito woke up again, and noticed that another pigeon feather was in his room. It was not the same feather found yesterday. After a few minutes, distracted in his room, standing like a statue he decided to investigate the problem today. He left his room and took care of his daily duties. In the front of his house, he looked down and there it was, his favorite Journal.

The title says “According to Researchers, Citizen from Hokorigakure are Suffering from Weird Phenomenon”, and bellow, “The subjects from some studies showed signs of constant hunger, slight loss of memory and hallucinations. Citizen from the village seems to be facing the same problem than the subjects of the study. The researchers expect to find the origin of the issue by subjecting themselves through the same experiences done with their subjects. Read more in page 6”.

_Oh… it do not sound professional to experiment stuff on yourself.

Osoreito noticed the presence a person from his clan while outside his house. The person was in the roof of a house, staring the clouds, lost in his thoughts.

_Good morning Ikiryo! – But he was too distracted looking at the sky, and too far to hear anything.

Osoreito went through the streets, with a cunning and focused vision, looking in all the sides. There it was… a pigeon. He started crawling a wall, jumping from a big thrash to a window and then reaching a stair connected to the wall. The creature was in the border of the house’s roof.

_Lead me to your master, oh evil being.

The Pigeon did not reacted at all. However, as he approached the bird it disappeared, flying swiftly around and going to a dark corner. Osoreito started running. He went to another close building and descended through a stair in the dark corner. He searched for the bird, and nothing. There was nothing in one of the ends. In the other end, something shined, reflecting the sunlight. A mirror in a thrash, reflecting the image of a feather in the street.

Osoreito approached the street, and to his surprise, a young man was there. If anything were to catch attention to that person, it would be his pretty face, or maybe the large amount of pigeons around him. Osoreito closed his mouth, which had opened in surprise and terror, after seeing the pigeons. He left the place, trying to keep a mental image of that person in his mind.

Osoreito got to the office in the kage’s building, and Hanaka greeted him:

_I am surprised. You are still late, but today you got here earlier, earlier for your standards of course.

Nearby, he heard a laugh. Apparently, they had company. A young woman dressed in green was there, besides the young appearance she was an adult. Yes, she was the same person he found some time ago. Hanaka proceeded:

_Today, your mission is sending a package to a person. However, the place is more dangerous than the one you saw yesterday. In other words, this time someone will scout you, since I am not convinced of your skill.

Osoreito accepted the mission, taking the package and preparing to go the marked location. The young woman would be the scout.

_Keep up with my pace, rookie – said her.

They went running through the village. It was not a regular type of run but a shinobi type of run. They dodged objects and obstacles, to approach the place, which was a little far from the village’s border, in the desert. As they approached the right place, they slowed down and eventually started to walk normally.

_What is your name? – asked Osoreito.

_You can call me by my title, Super Green Devil.

_What kind of title is that?

_You want to know about – her facial expression suddenly changed to a smile, and the pupils dilated – my title?

_Not anymore, what with that face?

_Do not be silly rookie. I killed the bandit with the title of Green Devil with my own hands. In fact, my hands is everything I even used that day, his heart was in my hands and it was bloody. I still remember that, the…

_Why so graphical? You can stop now, you know.

_... the heart, it almost felt like it was still beating. Everything happened so fast, rookie. Oh, look this is the place! Now where is the contact?

They arrived at the destination, in the place there was a cave. Was the contact, to which they should give the package to, in the cave? There could be bandits here, since the desert is dangerous. Ultimately, they entered the place. Luckily, the contact was there and the mission was a success. Osoreito reported the mission results to his superior and went back home to sleep.

He was supposed to have a normal night, like every other night. However, he woke up some time earlier. The sky was still black. Suddenly, the window opened.

_Aha! – stated Osoreito.

A young man was standing outside of the window, around him many pigeons. He was the same man Osoreito found before. The person was surprised. Osoreito proceeded:

_You are responsive for those pigeon assaults in my home. Better prepare yourself, because…

_No, wait it is not what you think it is… – said the visitor, but Osoreito interrupted him.

_...I will kick your butt. Get out here.

The visitor fled desperately. Osoreito proceeded to sleep peacefully, finally ending his day.


Super Green Devil:
Appearance: Young woman with brown eyes and black hair that wear green clothes.
About: She is reckless and have a vicious aggressiveness. She work in the Hokorigakure’s forces, doing scouting tasks.

[Toratsume Nyshn]

Idk how I missed the second chapter... but good job both of them, I'd say the first chapter is still my favorite, and l like the way you end with a character description, like in some mangas.
Keep posting

[Alanok]

Episode 4 – The Flow of a New Week

Date of log: 8 days after joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust)

Osoreito woke up, expecting a regular morning, but from the low floors of the house, a noise imposed itself. Without clearly understanding the situation, he left his bed and tried to identify the noise he heard. As he approached the stairs, the sounds started to become clearer:

_Silver tongue! Hey, silver tongue! Appear! – was what he heard.

As he was about to open the door, a person opened it first. It was his sister, but before he could realize that, she jumped and hugged him. If Osoreito had not fully woke up until now, he would surely wake up that moment. She proceeded to talk:

_I am glad and surprised that you are still alive and in one piece!

_That is good, I guess.

_Did you knew? Dad and I made a bet… on how many scratches and scars would you get in one week, by working as shinobi! I guess we both lost.

_Wait, you what?

Before Osoreito could properly question her, she left the room. He said hello to his dad and welcomed him back, then went to the front of his house. His favorite journal however was not there, and he looked, shocked and sad, to the ground. Then a boy appeared, carrying a bag with papers. Osoreito said:

_Oh, hello Jim!

_Sorry, I am late because the store was not open yet. Here is the journal.

_No worries Jim! Thanks for bringing the journal every day, I will pay what I owe you later.

Osoreito was afraid of getting late to work, so he quickly checked the front page. The title says “The New Book ’The Art of Pussy’ Became the Book of the Moment”, and bellow, “Behold, cat lovers! A modern artist just published a book full of kitten pictures and it ended in everyone’s mouth those last days. Critics says it is horrible and deceiving, but if you like cute cats do not lose the chance of getting a copy, because the stores are running out of those. Read more in page 6.”

_Nah, I am not a cat maniac. I will pass.

He proceeded with his day, walking the streets of the village. Suddenly the young man of the pigeons interrupted Osoreito, by saying:

_Wait, I need to talk with you.

_Creepy pigeon man, is that you? What would you want with me?

_Stop calling me that. I need to tell you… have you found anything in your room?

_Like what? There is not a bomb or anything, right?

_No, wait, what? Of course not. I lost my ring in your house.

_How would it end there anyway? I cannot understand.

_Ah – he breathed heavily before explaining the situation – recently pigeons attacked me…

_Wait, are not them your friends? Was not you ordering them to annoy me?

_... eh? Of course no. They took my ring during the afternoon. I managed to reach them when it was already night, but that day they went inside your house. I am trying to find it since then.

_Oh, so it was all a misunderstanding. You should not worry, if I find it I will return it right away. Now, what does it look like?

_It is golden and…

_Golden! – Said a man walking nearby – Hello my friends, did you said something about gold? My name is Katugsuchi, and if you are looking for a treasure chest or something like that, I will gladly help you to find it. Of course, if I receive my share of the gold, ha, I would love to put my fingers in the gold…

_Excuse me – proceeded the pigeon man – but I do not want anyone sticking fingers inside my ring.

The situation was awkward. Osoreito had a weird conversation for some minutes. Eventually, he left and went to the kage’s building. He was not expecting anything peculiar, maybe Hanaka would scold him for coming late, but nothing different from the usual. The atmosphere of the place, however, was weird. He walked the corridors of the building.

The room greeted him with a surprise. Rinku the receptionist was holding his bleeding arm and a medic was talking with the few persons in the room.

_Osoreito – said Hanaka – come talk with me outside, I will explain the situation.

Rinku found a bandit in his way to the kage’s building, apparently a robber. The person asked for money and slashed his arm and his bag, destroying some documents and papers in the process and his arm was hurt. Rinku was lucky to find Izumi in his path, a talented medic.

_Did you found anything suspicious during your way to the kage’s building? – Asked Hanaka.

_No, I was busy with other affairs. Is Rinku going to be ok?

_Probably. Izumi is already treating him. It is nothing to make you worried.

Osoreito spent the rest of the day doing tasks to keep the place organized. He went back home. His sister and his father were already sleeping, tired of the travel. He proceeded to end his day, too lost in his thoughts to worry about the golden ring.


Katugsuchi (HermitTheSage):
Appearance: Man with complex-looking eyes and black hair.
About: He is a mysterious shinobi, obsessed by gold.
Link:https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2841.msg48467#msg48467

Izumi (Rapho):
Appearance: Man with black eyes and light brown hair that wear medical shinobi clothes.
About: He is a somewhat experienced shinobi, admired for his great medical skills and will to help the injured.
Link:https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2380.msg34465#msg34465

[Alanok]

Episode 5 – Captain Osoman and the Space-Time Hole [Filler]

Date of log: 10 days after joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust)

Osoreito woke up, but it was his day off. He did not found a golden ring anywhere in his room, or maybe he was too bored to actually put some effort into finding it. His sister and dad went somewhere else during the morning. His mother was busy as usual.

Osoreito opened a window in his house and looked at the sky, lost in his thoughts. What if his life had happened in a different manner, considering his past decisions, was there a different life he could achieve? Maybe he would not be in the Intelligence Division, maybe he could be a fearsome and invincible warrior. At this point, he was daydreaming.

There he was… Captain Osoman in a massage house. A woman entered the room. She was apparently responsible for the massage therapy. She announced:

_Mister, I will help you the way you like! There is no need to worry.

Osoman was shirtless, revealing his big and marvelous muscles. He laid down in a bed and the woman opened a wooden chest. Inside the chest was a big hammer. His inhuman strength made his body hard to relax, that was the only way he could feel anything. She proceeded to prepare the hammer, lifting it high, and then starting to hit his back.

How deceiving, thought Osoman. He yawned, as he could not feel much. Suddenly the hammer broke and the bed made some noises. The bed was deformed and the hammer was in pieces. The woman said:

_Sorry mister Osoman but it broke again. We will have to reschedule.

He was walking the streets, after leaving the massage house, when suddenly a man came from a corner. Osoman waved and smiled to the person. The man said:

_Oh, is Captain Osoman really looking at me? You are – he started breathing heavily – the coolest person around.

_Thank you! You are cool as well my fellow… – before he could end the sentence, the man fell unconscious.

Captain Osoman resumed to his walk, eventually finding a known friend in the street.

_Commander Hana! Would you like to hang out somewhere?

_Sure. Just keep in mind that you are still my subordinate.

They went through the village. It was still morning. A steam room was in the right side of the street, so they went there to spend some minutes. They removed part of the clothing, revealing that both of them had big shiny muscles that became sweaty and wet with the heat.

_By the gods! – said Captain Osoman as Hana removed her shirt.

_What is wrong? Are you surprised with my breasts or something?

_No, I am used to see your body. It is just that… there is censorship in your nipples.

_Ah! – Shouted her – This never happened before, I swear. What is going on? Where are my nipples? Help!

_Oh, maybe there is censorship because of our audience. Children is going to see this show, supposedly.

_What are you talking about? Why are you even talking like that?

Eventually, both of them left the place, relaxed but hungry. Where could them possibly find food? A ramen, thought them. Hana’s favorite restaurant was not open however. They were hungry and started to complain when suddenly a mysterious man appeared and said:

_Do you want ramen by any chance?

_Yes, I want it badly in fact. Why? – Asked Commander Hana.

_I work at a ramen place. Although this restaurant is closed, I can bring you a ramen from the other side of the village.

 _Would not it take some time?

_No worries, I can take it here in matter of seconds.

The mysterious man started to run at an unimaginable speed, after taking the orders. He was back after a few seconds. Osoman was wondering whether he was not human or he was secretly a shinobi. The ramen came with a note saying “Mars’ Majestic Ramen”, and bellow, “Contains big amounts of sodium. Do not eat in excess. Do not feed your pet with this. Side effects may include heart attack and kidney failure”.

The ramen was delicious, so they proceeded to walk the streets of the village. For their surprise, they could see a strange thing in the sky. Void of color, emitting random lights and scaring everyone. It was a space-time hole, a fissure in the universe.

_Oh – noted Commander Hana – if that is what I think it is… this reality is in danger Captain.

_But how did it formed? Is it because we constantly comment about things that only exist in other realities?

_Look, it is growing. We need to stop it.

_I know. We should hit the thing with our muscles until it disappears.

_Ha, hahaha, ha, haha, ha your stupidity knows no boundaries my dear rival – said Swift Pigeon, the great villain of the century.

_Swift Pigeon – said Commander Hana – this time you will not escape. I bet you are the responsible for this mess.

_No, I am not. I believe you cannot catch me today, since I can help to fix this fissure in the sky.

_Why would you help us? You are the villain, helping people is against the rules.

_Screw the rules, I have money! A lot of money. Now, seriously, if that thing destroy everything how am I supposed to rule the world?

_And what is your plan?

_Ha, simple, Captain Osoman does the hard part of the job and I stay here cheering and giving him incentive to fix the problem!

Osoman sighed, as he knew he would have to do something about the problem. He crawled a high building to get closer to that strange thing. He complained:

_What do I do now? It is growing.

_Do it! – Shouted Swift Pigeon – Just do it! You cannot let this fissure be a fissure. A few minutes ago, you crawled the building as if you knew what you were doing, so just do it!

_B-but it is only getting worse, it will swallow the entire village soon. What can I even do against a matter destruction hole?

_Remember to trust in the heart of the kunai. If you do it right, the hole will not stand a ghost of a chance!

Captain Osoman got an idea. He jumped high, with his strong muscles and charged his chakra. Still in the air, he shouted “Piercing Pointed Feather!” quickly reaching his pocket for a kunai. Still rising in the air, somehow, the kunai connected with the space-time hole and a wave threw Osoman away in a street. The hole started to shrink and disappeared, making a popped bubble noise.

_Eh… you used my technique. – Said Swift Pigeon – That is not what I meant with trusting your kunai.

_Now, it is time for you to receive punishment for your evil crimes – said Commander Hana.

_What… well, it seems like my job here is done.

_But you did nothing – replied Captain Osoman, but it was too late, the villain disappeared.

Osoreito suddenly woke up, drooling in the window. He was surprised to discover that he fell asleep while daydreaming. The few minutes that passed felt like hours. What a strange way to spend your free time, thought him. Eventually, he proceeded to rest and relax during the day. After all, shinobi cannot rest with frequency.


Captain Osoman:
About: He is an alter ego from Osoreito that compensates for his lack of physical combat prowess. He is a superhero with godly powers and extreme physical capabilities.

Commander Hana:
About: She represents Osoreito’s idea of authority, heavily inspired by his coexistence with Hanaka. She is muscled and physically powerful like Captain Osoman, besides also being his superior in this reality.

Swift Pigeon:
About: He represents Osoreito’s fear of pigeons, since he once saw his room invaded by them. He is not physically powerful like Captain Osoman, but he is the fastest around.

[Toratsume Nyshn]

It was like breaking the fourth wall, without actually braking the fourth wall.

I Laughed yeah....'art of pussy' and all puns
 It's fun reading Osoman and his adventures... keep posting

[Alanok]

Episode 6 – The Second Movement Begins

Date of log: 11 days after joining the Intelligence Division. Hokorigakure (dust)

_Silver tongue! Silver tongue. Silver… tongue – shouted Osoreito’s sister, but he was not awake – wake up.

_Oh, could it be that screaming hyenas are attacking me?

_Get up, stop hibernating.

_What do you want this early in the morning? Not even the sun has properly awaken yet.

_Today we are checking if grandma needs anything, if she is ok.

It was so early that the journal was not in the front of the house yet. As he walked alongside of his sister, memories of the past rushed back in his mind. Some young members of the Zen’no no Sabaku were about to make a public speech, to show for other generations how well they were educated in the ways of the clan. The elders were watching and some adults assisted the kids on their presentation.

Osoreito’s sister had just ended her part, receiving the approval of the elders. It was his time now. The text was clear in his mind. His part was supposed to be on how potatoes slowly grows and eventually gives the fruit of their hard work for everyone, even though their best side is hidden from everyone’s eyes bellow the ground (or something on these lines). He approached and opened his mouth nervously.

_T-the clan members, are, are something…

_Keep calm, just tell them the text in the way you remember it – a nearby adult whispered.

_V-very well. The clan members are, I mean, t-their best side is hard and they hide their work bellow the ground… in other words. The members of this clan are potatoes!

The crowd started to whisper and look at each other confused. Did he just offended the clan? Osoreito’s grandma never held her palm so hardly in her face. Suddenly one of the elders could not contain himself and started to laugh, eventually saying:

_Ha, hahaha, someone should give this boy a medal. I just thought this would be a boring reunion like always.

_Keep your composure – commented another elder.

In that day, Osoreito’s sister gave him that nick… the nickname ‘silver tongue’. Osoreito snapped back to reality, walking the streets of Hokorigakure. They approached the right house and his sister proceeded to enter the place. He could hear his sister ask their grandma if she has been training in the backyard without permission, since she had back problems and should not train.

_What is that? – Whispered him – I could swear that… no, I am seeing things.

The training dummy in the backyard almost looked like it got new scratches. After looking at the backyard from outside of the house, he glanced inside the house. There it was. The turtle statue his grandma used to pray to, representing the Zen’no spirit of the north. After visiting his grandma, he proceeded to the kage’s building.

He wanted to check if Rinku was fine, so he went to the building with a fast pace. He reached the reception of the kage’s building and Rinku was there with bandages in his arm. Osoreito said:

_Hello. How is your arm? Will you be ok?

_Ah, I guess you are referring to this arm. Ha, no worries. This is but a scratch! I can still wrestle a buffalo.

_I doubt it. You could not do that even with a good arm.

_It is a metaphor, ha. Tell you what. If something more serious ever happen could you burn my naughty magazines?

_I… I guess. If you are worried with that.

_You rock! I am just kidding you know.

_About me rocking or about the magazines?

_Ha, you are so funny – said Rinku while Osoreito looked confused.

Osoreito walked the corridors, approaching the office and opening the door. Hanaka explained the details about the person that attacked Rinku. It was a shinobi with dark blue clothes and two blades, his face was covered. The destroyed documents that Rinku was carrying are still under analyze.

A young looking girl joined the room. It was Super Green Devil. Hanaka assigned Osoreito to another mission in the border of the village. The girl would scout him again. He grabbed a letter on the table. A letter he would have to bring for someone on a marked place.

As he walked the corridors of the kage’s building, Super Green Devil started to talk.

_Rookie. Do you see that locked room by the end of this corridor? – Said her while pointing to a door.

_What about it?

_The old Intelligence Division used the place in the past to interrogate criminals. With genjutsu techniques.

_Is not it used anymore?

_The treatment was too harsh… the majority of the prisoners died before revealing any information. The room is also acoustically sealed. From the corridor, it was not possible to hear regular sounds, neither… screams!

_E-eh? – Said him frightened – I did not knew it was possible to kill people with genjutsu.

_Oh, if the pressure is too much their health falls apart. Especially after many days. You should know, rookie, you are a genjutsu user.

_You know I am a genjutsu user. You have been reading about me. Did you saw the files about me?

Unanswered, Osoreito prepared for the mission, they traveled around the village. There was silence, wind and awkwardness like always. They were outside the village, walking close to the border. The young-looking girl start to talk again.

_I hear a familiar voice calling. Rookie, do you know what true peace is?

_The absence of pain? The pain creatures cause to each other.

_That is a way to put it – said her while a figure approached in the distance.

The person approached, with two blades in the belt and a dark blue cloak. Super Green Devil shouted to the person, asking if everything was ready. The voice from the distance confirmed, and told her they were ready to go. She turned to Osoreito and said:

_Rookie… you can stop calling me Super Green Devil by now, I have a more fitting title…

_What do you mean?

_We can go now, princess. – Said the person in dark blue.

_Princess? – Stated Osoreito.

_Princess… refer to me as… The Silence Princess! Uh-hahahahaha. – She stopped for a moment, smiling – Rookie, true peace can only be achieved in death.

_What kind of madness is this?

_After death, there is silence. Creatures can hurt no one while dead. I am the noble that will bring absolute peace to this world. I will end the suffering and vanquish the pain.

_Who can enjoy their peace while dead?

_There is no true peace to enjoy while you live. If you do not think living is painful enough, then I will change your mind with some pain therapy.

_Princess, remember what you said – replied the mysterious figure.

_I will not kill him. My plans are still in check, friend. On the other side, removing a member or two will really do him good.

_If you persist. You should not make him bleed to death though.

The Silence Princess moved gracefully fast, leaving marks only in the place where she was standing a while ago. She was proficient in taijutsu, moving too fast for a regular being to see. In less than a second she was kicking Osoreito’s leg from behind, making his position unstable. She grabbed his neck, forcing the whole body on the ground. She picked a kunai and pointed it against his back. The other hand was holding him in the position.

Suddenly, a group of members from the Tokage no Sabaku clan appeared. A person that was apparently the leader of the group proceeded to talk:

_This place is a practice field of the Tokage clan. Trouble is not allowed or tolerated here – at this point the figure in dark blue had already fled and the Silence Princess released Osoreito, knowing well that she was outnumbered – get out or die slowly in agony with our poison.

_Rookie, I will present you someone. Ha, she is a key in my plans and a person filled with godhood – said her while departing.

_T-thank you, whoever may you be – whispered Osoreito.

_That counts for you too, get out of our field – replied the person.

Osoreito stood up and left the place getting rid of the sand on his pants. He reported back, informing Hanaka of the incident and the mission failure. At last, he ended his day, tired and stressed.


This is the end of Arc 1. More episodes coming soon.