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Author Topic: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage  (Read 28092 times)

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Offline Manuster

Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2017, 18:36:58 »
And yep, Vuregu making an appearance is required

ditto m9

this is g8

i could read it 24/7

this is better than 6

high 5!!!!

post the next chapter what are you waiting 4

somethingsomething 3

i would like vreg to appear 2

this is my favourite 1
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline CaioDarT

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2017, 18:42:48 »
And yep, Vuregu making an appearance is required

ditto m9

this is g8

i could read it 24/7

this is better than 6

high 5!!!!

post the next chapter what are you waiting 4

somethingsomething 3

i would like vreg to appear 2

this is my favourite 1
I saw what you did Manuster rsrsrs.

An vreg appearence would be greaaat

Offline America

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #32 on: March 09, 2017, 18:50:19 »
aye maintaining the comic relief and simultaneously developing the tension. Still can't perfectly picture the sinister cause yet!
And yep, Vuregu making an appearance is required, after all Mars is about to become the kage.
How long is this arc gonna last?

There isn't a set length, however it should only be a few more episodes.

After that I'll take a break from writing, and maybe start a second arc after the break.
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Offline Hiruko

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #33 on: March 09, 2017, 18:52:38 »
I want to fight someone ._. and an appearance from Vreg would be nice ^^



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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #34 on: March 10, 2017, 02:59:06 »
I love it!!!!


please don't ever stop writing these I don't think I can let go at this point
Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


-lethal dankness

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #35 on: March 10, 2017, 06:56:54 »
Episode 5: In Come The Intruders


-Two Days Until the Ceremony

“Boardwalk Burgers? More like... Bored-walk Burgers! Because they’re not having any fun!” Diamond Himitsu Lee waited for a reaction from his friends -- none came. Damn. I thought that one was good, too. He began to think of some more jokes before his attention was drawn to some suspicious characters entering the village. They wore dark cloaks and a metal mask over their face. He elbowed Yokiro lightly, who in turn nudged Satoru, who in turn socked Yokiro right in the face.

“What the fuck, man?” He said. That certainly caught the attention of everyone nearby. Diamond looked back towards the bridge. Apparently those two guys had noticed Lee’s group noticing them; both had disappeared. Takumi got up from their line on the ledge facing the front river and jumped down. Yukiro and Satoru were too busy scuffling to notice, but Diamond Lee was curious. What would prompt him to do such a thing without saying a word? He followed Takumi’s lead as quietly as he could.

The red-haired shinobi suddenly ducked into a sewer pipe. Diamond Lee waited at the entrance for a few seconds, then jumped in himself. The pipe remained the same size for a few meters, then opened up into a surprisingly large chamber, which had three or four feet of murky water on the bottom. Takumi was in a standoff with the two mysterious characters from before. Both sides had weapons drawn; two kunai for Takumi, a sword for the first adversary and a kunai for the second.

Diamond Lee jumped down onto Takumi’s side, which prompted the enemy to act. The guy with the sword flipped it to his buddy and jumped a few meters back. The second one, catching the sword, charged Takumi, catching him off guard.



-The Previous Day

“I don’t know this elder, and to be blunt, I don’t trust him.” Fulvius understood Kuria’s concern. “He’s had the ANBU under his thumb for a decade or so. What if he’s the one doing this shit?” Kuria quieted down towards the end of the sentence, his childish instinct to not curse kicked in. Fulvius nodded in response and bit his thumbnail. Should I…? Would it be too imposing?



Diamond Lee tossed a kunai towards the attacker locked in close combat with Takumi. Without interrupting his routine of furious strikes, he caught the kunai through the hole on the end with his sword, returning it twice as hard. Diamond dodged, then launched himself forwards. He landed a solid kick to the guy’s ribs -- or so he thought. His foot went completely through the guy’s torso, causing Diamond to fall to the ground on the other side. What the fuck? He got up and attacked again. No connection, no reaction from either fighter.

Diamond Lee stopped and looked closely. Both sides were repeating the same attack over and over again in a loop. He waved his hand in front of Takumi’s face. Still no reaction. He turned to the second enemy, who stood as still as a statue. His eyes were wide open, almost creepily. His hands were held in a hand sign. Genjutsu? Lee formed the release hand sign. Release.

Lee felt his vision fading as he awoke from the genjutsu; while incapacitated the chakra he used to keep himself above water had worn off. He broke the surface and gasped for air. The sound of metal clanging was almost satisfying to hear again. Diamond Lee looked around and saw the guy who had put him in the genjutsu, weaving more handsigns. Fucker almost drowned me. Luckily, he hadn’t been noticed yet. Lee took in a huge breath and submerged again.



-The Previous Day

“Fulvius, I know what you’re thinking. At least I think I do.” Kuria looked towards his cousin. He was squinting, a usual sign of deep thought for him. Fulvius nodded and opened his mouth to speak.
“Yeah, I think it’s time we do. I’ll send a carrier pigeon right away.”
“Right. We shouldn’t need too many, either. Just a couple. Gotta stay beneath everyone and anyone’s radar.” Kuria added.



Lee reached out, grabbed the genjutsu user’s ankle and pulled him under the surface. The guy’s mask came off and his cloak floated up, revealing snow white hair, killer red eyes and the clothing of a shinobi. Lee had never seen the guy before, that was for sure; yet he could see his clan emblem clearly. If he remembered, it was a clan from the Hidden Metal. What were they doing here, and why were they so hostile?

Suddenly, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the water. It was the Hidden Metal elder. Lee glanced over towards Takumi, and the Hidden Hill Kage-elect had gotten in between Takumi and the other Metal shinobi, parrying all of their attacks with several kunai. He pushed them both back.



-Earlier That Morning

“My ANBU should be arriving sometime in the afternoon. I only sent for two -- they’ll be in uniform, but nothing outwardly obvious will be worn.” Fulvius explained. Kuria nodded, shuffling through the paper notes with numbers. He could still make no sense of them.
“With all the odd shinobi here for the ceremony, they should blend in. Metal masks and cloaks.”
“I just hope that this doesn’t go south, but if it does, we may need to rely on them in combat.”
“I have faith they’ll serve well. They’ve been fighting as a unit for a while; brothers actually. Tsunagami, an obscure Metal clan.”



Hooke dumped several dozen slips of paper from his pocket into a dumpster. They all had numbers ranging from 430 - 490. He turned to look at the soon-to-be Hill Kage walking down the street, checking the signs on each shop. He finally stopped at the ramen shop Hooke had spent most of last year’s entire savings on over the past few days. The kid scratched his head, looking at the sign on top of the shop that displayed its name.

Hooke finished tossing the papers and walked off, whistling. Kuria looked troubled, staring at the sign on top of the shop still. A large slip of paper fell off the name, changing the name of the shop by one letter.



This is probably the most serious episode yet; I’m not sure how you guys like it balanced. More comedy, less seriousness? Let me know.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2017, 18:10:21 by America »
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Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #36 on: March 10, 2017, 08:57:08 »
that sucker punch in the beginning was funny :P
idk how much development to the main plot is left, but I guess its time we shift to more serious mood.
I hope in the end, when the ceremony takes place, the lighthearted moments will return :)
good job again America




Offline Manuster

Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #37 on: March 10, 2017, 10:17:51 »
that sucker punch in the beginning was funny :P
idk how much development to the main plot is left, but I guess its time we shift to more serious mood.
I hope in the end, when the ceremony takes place, the lighthearted moments will return :)
good job again America

yare, as far as I can tell, people don't actually mind serious stories

but maybe im just not funny lmao

its good its good

you just keep building the tension rg'ironehejtmh;ktmj#]rts'jhrth
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline LethalDarkness4

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #38 on: March 10, 2017, 17:31:32 »
Plz don't kill @takami  @Diamond Lee story me :'(


Loved this part America I feel like this story is gonna be lit
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Offline Raidnn

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #39 on: March 10, 2017, 17:50:02 »
Lol "Yukiro" :D love your stories man this is lit, can't wait for the next one

Sig credit to CaioDart

Offline America

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #40 on: March 10, 2017, 21:50:38 »

Episode 6: A Taste of Greg


Kuria stood in the middle of the street, staring at the large sign above the ramen shop that read: “Greg’s Ramen.” Hmm. That seemed odd -- he had never met anyone named Greg before. Fate seemed to agree with his suspicions. A rough breeze blew through the street, causing a piece of paper to fall off the first letter of the sign. It now read: “Vreg’s Ramen.” Kuria could’ve sworn he had heard that name before. He shrugged, and pushed open the door to the inside.



“Yeah, it was done with pinpoint accuracy. The chakra flow to their hearts completely blocked; they died of what looks like poison, but was actually completely unrelated.” Izumi explained to Hayame.
“If Lord Kuria is still going to confront the shopkeeper, I’d probably tell him to get backup. Whoever did this has godlike medical skills at least.” Hayame nodded in agreement.
“I’ll go speak with him.” The Hokorikage weaved a few hand signs and disappeared into the ground.

He broke the surface on the street outside the shop a few minutes later.
“Vreg’s Ramen. Huh.” Hayame scratched his chin. Last time he was here, it was Greg’s Ramen, but the new name sounded so familiar. “I swear I’ve heard that name before.” Hayame shrugged and cautiously opened the front door.



“Lord Hayame is asking for assistance.” Izumi said before the remaining two Kage and elders he was able to round up. “The matter is semi-confidential, I wouldn't bring any of your shinobi unless they already know the situation.”
“I understand.” Fulvius spoke up. The others muttered their agreement, and teams began to form.

Kuro Nakai and Reminance Kaiyo glared at each other.
“Don’t let your chakra get out of control this time.” Reminance warned Kuro as they walked out of the Kage Building together. Chikai shamelessly stalked a few meters behind her Kage as he talked to the Kaminarikage.

Kazuki Kaiyo, who had arrived in the village the day before, paired with Sareko Akaihono. They looked towards Toratsume and Fulvius, expecting them to join their team.
“I've got some friends I need to gather.” Fulvius explained. “I'll be there soon, head off without me.” Toratsume nodded and joined the Ash and Volcano Elders. If this shopkeeper, whoever he was, could give even one Kage a run for their money, it was going to be a fun battle to watch.
“And what should I do?” Fulvius had forgotten Izumi was still there. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by an explosion that shook the ground.

They both turned to look. Dust and dirt shot into the air around the ramen shop they were supposed to be investigating.
“There will probably be some casualties.” Fulvius said. “Deal with them.” Izumi nodded and jumped away.



-A few minutes before

Kuria looked around suspiciously. Several tables were occupied with happy customers slurping their ramen.
“So what ye want, laddy?” A guy called Kuria from the counter. He was short and old, with brown hair that was riddled with grease.
“Errr…” Kuria approached him. “Uhh, one ramen please.”
“What kind?”
“Umm… The noodle kind.”
“Yeah, but what do you want on it?”
“Sauce?”
“Fuck’s sake, fine. Just a plain ramen coming up.” He reached under the counter and pulled a slip of paper. “Take this, when I call your number come and get your order.” Kuria read it: 493.

“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?” This was where those slips of paper were coming from? Kuria slammed his fist onto the counter, shattering the wood and causing a boiling pot of water to fall onto the shopkeeper’s foot. A cloud of smoke exploded, and out stepped a significantly younger guy. He was still fairly short, but he had black hair and the most incredible eyes -- a ripple pattern with a gray-blue monotone.

“So your name is Vreg, huh?” Kuria asked sheepishly; after all, he did just ruin the guy’s counter and spill boiling water on him. Whoops. However, that didn't explain why he was hiding his true identity -- or anything about the villagers that died in here.

Vreg expelled a wave of force without any warning. No hand signs or precursor actions were taken. Kuria was flung through the front doors as the building collapsed, knocking down Hayame on his way.
“That's one odd guy.” Kuria said as he dusted off his white Kage robes.
“Do you think it's him?” Hayame looked towards his young comrade. “The Vreg from the Myth of Creation?”

“Well, it's called a myth for a reason. I don't think anyone could live that long. But, we'll never know until we find out.” And they would find out soon. Vreg flew out of the rubble, winding up a punch.

The Kage moved quickly; Hayame stopped the punch with both hands and Kuria returned a kick to the gut. Vreg didn't budge, despite the power Kuria had put into his attack. With incredible speed, Vreg grabbed Hayame’s hands and Kuria’s leg. After a quick spin through the air, the Kage were thrown dozens of meters away.

Vreg pursued, but rather than jump through the air, he bashed through multiple buildings on the way, protected by a cloak of lightning. Hayame was targeted first; he was the elder Kage and his abilities had probably matured more.

The Hokorikage sat still near where he had landed, on the uninhabited part of the Hidden Hill. It was the closest to nature he could get in the village, and he would need a lot of nature energy. Red lines sprouted from his eyes and his hair began to turn white, starting at the roots. It would be too little, too late, though. Vreg was only a few meters away, and would close the distance before Hayame could even get halfway done entering Sage mode.

Vreg’s fist neared Hayame’s face, close enough for small bolts of lightning to jump back and forth from the two. Suddenly, he came to a halt. Three elders had thrown their weight against him as best they could without disturbing Hayame. Vreg jumped back and prepared for battle; he drew a single sword inverse in his left hand.



Shortly before the fighting resumed, Fulvius appeared with his two ANBU. Sareko honestly wasn't certain he would return; but after seeing the power their opponent held, he was glad Fulvius did.

Unexpectedly, Kazuki charged Vreg. A horizontal slash was dodged by a jump up from Vreg, who pushed the Hidden Ash’s head down as he went. Kazuki hit the ground with such force that it splintered the earth below. Sareko gulped. Vreg wasted no time following up, his sword pointed down as he plunged back towards the grounded Kazuki. Suddenly, spikes erupted from the earth, interrupting Vreg’s attack. He placed his hand on one and pushed away, landing on the water. Toratsume quickly continued his assault with a solid kick to the head.

Vreg ducked, but was now confronted by a vicious downswing from Fulvius and his sword. He dodged to the left and jumped over a leg sweep coming from one of the ANBU. Sareko wasted no time; a quick Dragon Bullet Jutsu forced Vreg to vault over it. His back felt the warmth radiating from the jutsu as he went.
“Gotcha.” Kris Tsunagami came down on Vreg with a massive kick. It of course didn't land. Another devastating wave of force exploded from Vreg. Hissing and steam came from the water as Sareko’s jutsu was pushed into it.

The Elders regrouped in front of Hayame, who had almost finished entering sage mode. Several others had arrived to reinforce their numbers: Dart, Nibui, Hiruko and Manuster fell in line with the elders, while Yokiro, Satoru, Hari, Fampo and Hooke stood on the Kage Building island. Sareko prepared for the worst; having this many shinobi was good in theory, but they’ll all just end up colliding with each other while trying to fight.

Suddenly, Vreg bolted out of the cloud of steam towards the closer targets on the Kage Island. He stopped before he got to the shore, though. Water swirled viciously around his legs and Sage Mode Chakra Chains latched around his arms. Kuria shot into view, both feet colliding into Vreg’s chest at incredible speeds. Several walls of water erected by Kuro and Reminance slowed him down quite measurably, however, he still flew at least two kilometers out of the village. The Four Kage had finally arrived, and departed immediately to chase the myth of Vreg.



wew lads, chapter 7 will be out once its done, so possibly a triple upload for today
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Offline LethalDarkness4

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #41 on: March 10, 2017, 22:14:11 »
Worst story 1/10

I didn't kick VREG
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Offline Reminance

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #42 on: March 10, 2017, 22:47:04 »
Just read em all in one go, btw @America if you are taking info from my character page it's extremely outdated as i've decided to take lightning as my primary chakra nature.
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Offline Diamond Lee

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Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #43 on: March 10, 2017, 22:58:47 »
Holy shit just read both chapters that was amazing aaaaaaaaaaa


I wonder what happened to me


I kind of felt the papers would end up being something not important lol


I see what u did with Greg lel


Spoiler: show
Also the kunai throw thing that move with the finger in the ring was also used in my story Idk if u did that on purpose lol
Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


-lethal dankness

Offline DrSuhi

Re: SLO Filler Arc #1: Mars the Kidkage
« Reply #44 on: March 10, 2017, 23:43:18 »
I felt so pleased when Yokiro got punched. Nice job making this feel like Madara fighting the allied shinobi forces aka the noobs
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