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Author Topic: The Art of Blowjobs  (Read 21547 times)

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Offline Fraudulent

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The Art of Blowjobs
« on: February 12, 2017, 15:50:16 »
The Art of Blowjobs

Warning: Mature audiences only

Blowjobs are a work of art. They can be creative, innovative and genuinely a great experience for both partners. However at the same time they can be disappointing and painful.

Before asking your partner if they are interested in engaging in such activities with you, it’s always good to ask whether they are okay with the amount of hair that surrounds your cannon. I would personally advise you shave the shaft, sac, and trim the surrounding area. A neat trim is nice and wouldn’t require you to be completely bald around that region, not only will it look bad, but your hair will regrow even quicker and thicker if you decide to go all out. Most partners are okay with a mowed lawn around the post, a-lot of them are also repulsed if you have a bush.

A few hours before you meet up with your partner to undergo such operations, you must cleanse that area… cleanse it well. Take a shower in-fact. Make sure you polish the cannon with the freshest shower gel you have. I highly recommend ‘Head & Shoulders Mint’ as it is really minty, even if it’s a shampoo. You may feel slight burning and uncomfortable sensations for a few minutes but can last up to an hour… It’s all worth it though. Your partner will be satisfied and so will you.

It is very important that your partner is comfortable with what they are about to do. Do not pressure them or put them in a state of hurry – let them take their time when handling your genitals. You can even have a friendly conversation whilst they wield your sword in their hand(has happened to me lool).

NEVER push them towards your area because unless they have no respect for themselves, they will immediately cease operation and give you a hefty slap and probably not talk to you for the rest of the day. The only times pressing your partner towards your groin area is acceptable is either if they are a prostitute and paid to do this, or they are extremely horny and lack respect for themselves.

When receiving a blowjob and it’s your partner’s first time, do not be fooled by what you’ve seen on Pornhub where they press their heads down forcing a gag. Always keep in mind that your partner is NOT a pornstar (or who knows? Maybe you are dating a pornstar… you lucky dog!) and they are bound to have a bad time dealing with the gagging until they get used to it.

If this is your first time experiencing the art of ‘succ’, then you will be disappointed if you expect the same things as you’ve seen on the computer. The actors in those scenes appear to enjoy it greatly but you really don’t actually know what they feel.

Once her cave has been entered, you are bound to feel a bit of teeth at the beginning – this is completely normal and a lot of people have experienced this. You are also prone to feel the top of his/her mouth… you know, the little sickle-shaped holes near your teeth. Surprisingly enough it’s rather hard to distinguish between tongue and other parts.

If your partner is unexperienced then they will most likely stay to the standard ‘up and down’. Google is your friend if you’re confused. This is completely fine, but you may be disappointed because it will be very hard for you to climax, especially if your partner proceeds at a slow pace; however do not blame your partner, consider yourself lucky she’s even putting that thing in her mouth. If you want a varied experience, I would highly recommend you give them useful websites where they can learn techniques (personal method of mine). It is also a good idea to direct your partner whilst they’re at it, giving them basic suggestions like: “Go faster”, “Use the tongue more” or “Use your hand at the same time”. But of-course your experience will become more pleasant as your partner gains experience through practice.

After you’ve established that your partner will perform ‘the great succ’ on you, you have to ask whether they spit or swallow. Most people who are unexperienced and slightly uncomfortable with your blaster will say spit… because who wants to swallow your magic? On the other hand; your partner may be more open and comfortable and swallow your babies. Both are completely fine.

If you manage to release your kids whilst she’s blowing, then congratulations; you’re weak and have premature ejaculation.. nah I’m joking. But well done. There are however people (champions) who struggle to climax from sucking so they have to either get their partner or themselves to use their hands in a rapid motion to speed up the climax in order to spread magic into the world. Either one is fine, and I hope you don’t feel patronised if you climax just from succ loool.

Welp. If she swallows then you don’t have anything to clean up. If she chose to spit… then I’m sorry. But hey, in the end you got the succ!

After you are finished, she may decide to continue - this will bring a lot of pain upon you. I highly advise you tell your partner to stop. If they refuse to stop, then they genuinely want you to feel pain. Sorry bro.



« Last Edit: February 12, 2017, 21:11:17 by Snoopy »


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Offline adithya

Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2017, 16:12:44 »
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD

Offline Fraudulent

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2017, 16:35:50 »
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD
I'm glad you enjoyed my work. If I get sufficient support with these, I may write a sequel and trilogy on 'The Art of Breasts' and 'The Art of Vaginas'.

You seem surprised, but to me this seems like a completely normal thing to do - and the idea came to me last night before I went to sleep, lol. I showed a preview to a real life friend of mine before publishing... he claims that I'm on crack.
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Offline adithya

Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2017, 16:41:23 »
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD
I'm glad you enjoyed my work. If I get sufficient support with these, I may write a sequel and trilogy on 'The Art of Breasts' and 'The Art of Vaginas'.

You seem surprised, but to me this seems like a completely normal thing to do - and the idea came to me last night before I went to sleep, lol. I showed a preview to a real life friend of mine before publishing... he claims that I'm on crack.

huh. I thought it was shrooms. but whatever. I hope you dodo a sequel xD

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2017, 16:59:03 »
Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2017, 17:05:58 »
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)
« Last Edit: February 12, 2017, 17:08:47 by CaioDarT »

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2017, 17:24:59 »
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)

Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.

Thank you, but I feel like I've encrypted my messages well enough in order for younger members to not catch on.
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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2017, 17:28:20 »
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)

Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.

Thank you, but I feel like I've encrypted my messages well enough in order for younger members to not catch on.
Forgetting about that age stuff. Snoopy you're a really good writer keep going man!

Offline Kazmaru

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2017, 17:49:50 »
Butt.... why?
"Do not judge others simply by their preconceptions, and judgement based on their appearance. You assumed...that I have patience... You all fail to measure your own capacity, and my capacity. As a result, you lie here, beaten"

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2017, 18:41:47 »
Snoopy


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Try not slow me down! *Poof*

Offline mamita

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2017, 18:57:57 »
This is... Unique to say the least.

I actually do appreciate the sharing of advice in regards to this.
Already had the feeling a bush might not be the most comfortable
thing to stick your face in. Washing it goes without question, of course.

Also: You just made yourself legendary if Vreg doesn't delete this.
I'll be watching for the sequel.
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Offline Manuster

Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2017, 19:58:45 »
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.
This.

Idc if this is a shitpost.

This thread will go down in history.

As girls go down on me.

« Last Edit: February 13, 2017, 20:25:32 by Manuster »
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2017, 21:02:46 »
Forgetting about that age stuff. Snoopy you're a really good writer keep going man!
Thank you! This was more of a guide rather than a meaningful piece of writing.

Butt.... why?
Don't worry... We'll get to the butts soon ;)

This is... Unique to say the least.

I actually do appreciate the sharing of advice in regards to this.
Already had the feeling a bush might not be the most comfortable
thing to stick your face in. Washing it goes without question, of course.

Also: You just made yourself legendary if Vreg doesn't delete this.
I'll be watching for the sequel.
I'm glad my advice helped you. Thought it'd be interesting for inexperienced people to realize that real life is not the same as what you see on those websites, haha. There isn't much of a reason to delete the thread really. The messages have been encrypted. I may be doing a sequel.

@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.
This.

Idc if this is a shitpost.

This thread will go down in history.

As girls go down on me.

You actually failed to quote the post properly. Make sure to fix that if you care enough.
"Outdone every post on this website", I did expect a varied response from the community, but would you go as far as to say I've outdone every other post?

Dw about it. It's never a shitpost if it praises me ;)
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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2017, 21:21:51 »
Quite an interesting read, you've outdone yourself ^^
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Re: The Art of Blowjobs
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2017, 21:26:54 »
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)
tbf most of the active community is age 15 and above
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