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Author Topic: A short story  (Read 4255 times)

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Offline Fraudulent

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A short story
« on: November 15, 2016, 23:10:20 »
The ropes of death tugged on me, pulling tighter as the world slowed down before my eyes.
The grassland before me became blurrier with every stretch of the rope, but I felt indifferent to the situation. Does it really matter anymore? Squirming and crying are futile and have no influence on the outcome.
It’s becoming harder and harder to keep track of my mind...of the creations around me.
My hearing is starting to die out as time prolonged itself.
The candle of life is dim, and another soul is bound to meaninglessly depart from this cosmic plane.
Eh, who cares, right? At-least now I won’t have to deal with human conventions. It’s bothersome.
The only sense of life I have now is the distant burning sensation of the rope against my neck.



The candle succumbed to its slumber as the faint scenery faded to darkness.
And now...and now I’m trapped. To the left? Pitch black. Right? Pitch black.
Everywhere I twisted and turned it was dark like the never ending cosmos.
Where am I? My voice is echoing inside my head, but no vibrations escaping my mouth.
I’m not attached to a body anymore, am I alive?

The surface beneath the man vanished and he began dropping through space.
Woah, I’m free falling… HOLD UP, WAIT!
There’s no way I’m falling… falling into what?
I’m engulfed by an oblivion of darkness and limitless space… a void.
sigh... And to think that I could escape the struggles of life.



OOFT! Yikes!..oh, there’s no pain, I forgot. All this free falling and now I hit an end? But I’m not standing on anything..
A funny sensation began spiraling through his body.
Jeeeesus Christ, what the hell is happening?!
His body began jolting and twisting as a light yellow energy charged out of it.
The consciousness fell back and stared in amazement as the energy rose large before his very eyes.


“Why?”

Huh?

“Why would you waste your life like that? What’s the point of life when you’re not going to do something useful with it?”

Who the hell are you?

“I am Бог, but my name shall never be abused, only worshipped”
“Your pity existence brought me here. You’re only a young man with a long life ahead of you...how dare you prematurely end the cycle?!”

Oh man, chill out.
I never had ambitions in life. I was a basic human being who threw his life on a rope.

“You had a loving family, friends and a partner who would sacrifice her life for you!”
“Absolute coward... WASTE OF SPACE!”

What the hell do you want from me?!

“You don’t realize how much of an impact your life has had on others, think about your family and how miserable you have made them. Think about the girl who loved and tolerated you.. Hah, you’ll be lucky if she didn’t follow your footsteps.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he knelt in despair.
I APOLOGISE! I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted… I regret my every decision…! I HATE THIS!
 
He began sobbing with a trembling mouth and red cheeks.
I’m so fucking sorry..I..I wish I could be a better person, but I was a coward! FUCK! I never really thought about anything or cared at-all. I'm so miserable! Now there's no way I could make it up to my loved ones, even if I wanted to!

“I’m going to give you one more chance to correct your wrongdoing, find the correct path and fulfil your life with accomplishments”
“When you’re sent to Earth, you won’t remember this encounter and will be reversed 24 hours prior to your suicide”

Huh?

The energy whipped back into his body and he began jolting again.
The candles of life have once again been lit and the cycle is resumed.



Rays of light filled the room as his eyes fluttered open, only to find a girl at his desk.
“Good morning, baby” she spoke in a soft and smooth voice.
“Now tell me, what’s the password to this Snoopy account of yours?"

#ScribesGuild

Sorry for the shit story, byeee
« Last Edit: November 16, 2016, 01:04:32 by Snoopy »


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Offline Diamond Lee

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Re: A short story
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2016, 23:41:34 »
Yo snoop! I loved the story. Pls don't apologize. Very deep, loved the extended life and death metaphor. Liked the ending as well. Great work! Keep it going m8
Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


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Re: A short story
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2016, 23:55:01 »
Yo snoop! I loved the story. Pls don't apologize. Very deep, loved the extended life and death metaphor. Liked the ending as well. Great work! Keep it going m8
Thank you! I've been meaning to write a "deep" story and I got this idea a few hours ago.
I feel like I've rushed it, and anything that I'm not 100% happy with is shit imo.

Thanks anyway.
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Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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Re: A short story
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2016, 04:50:08 »
“I am Бог,
how tf you pronounce that? :3
anyways... it was deep af
and since it is a short.... I don't feel like it was rushed or something.
+rep you deserve :)




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Re: A short story
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2016, 06:53:04 »
“I am Бог,
how tf you pronounce that? :3
anyways... it was deep af
and since it is a short.... I don't feel like it was rushed or something.
+rep you deserve :)
It's pronounced 'Bog' which translates to 'God' in Bulgarian. And thanks :)
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Offline UchihaTsukumi

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Re: A short story
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2016, 08:50:37 »
>Бог

Теперь это русский форум, k3k.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2016, 08:53:51 by UchihaTsukumi »
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Re: A short story
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2016, 09:50:44 »
I enjoy stories like this cause they're short enough to keep my focus but still very well written. #ScribzGuild
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Offline Nas

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Re: A short story
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2016, 11:47:24 »
Nahh this was great
The intro reminded me of this https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=1914.15 
Read the part Madness
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Re: A short story
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2016, 18:56:32 »
>Бог

Теперь это русский форум, k3k.
Nah, not Russian :E

I enjoy stories like this cause they're short enough to keep my focus but still very well written. #ScribzGuild
Thank you, I may continue writing short deep stories.

Nahh this was great
The intro reminded me of this https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=1914.15 
Read the part Madness
Thank you. Yeah, they're similar.
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Offline StriderOtaku

Re: A short story
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2016, 04:52:48 »
Nice one Snoop..
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