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Author Topic: Manuster *******-Tsukegami (Chapter 19)  (Read 123858 times)

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Offline taigakun

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #30 on: September 06, 2016, 19:38:08 »
Nicely done once again man


Offline Sanji

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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #31 on: September 06, 2016, 19:54:44 »
i just read it the last part,not bad man thought all you're posts was a shityposts,but my mind change on you,so nice nice. :D
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Offline Ghost0000

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #32 on: September 06, 2016, 20:10:29 »
Keep up the good work manu very  nice
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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #33 on: September 06, 2016, 23:11:09 »
damn I'm old as shit in that story lol.
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"We Work In The Dark, To Serve The Light"

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #34 on: September 07, 2016, 03:29:56 »
Amazing! This is just awesome!
Manuster you deserve it rn
+rep
:)




Offline Konohuro

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #35 on: September 07, 2016, 13:30:40 »
Just took the time to read it all.
It's amazing. Very nice job. I like the way you made every character be special.
Kirishima looks so malicious though :/
As well as Hidden Ash... Too bad I am part of both.


Offline Manuster

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #36 on: September 07, 2016, 16:32:27 »
Thanks everyone <3 much appreciated.



damn I'm old as shit in that story lol.

well you are one of the oldest on the forums....but just wait till ST makes an appearance. You'll be a foetus next to him.


Just took the time to read it all.
It's amazing. Very nice job. I like the way you made every character be special.
Kirishima looks so malicious though :/
As well as Hidden Ash... Too bad I am part of both.

Thanks man.

And don't you go all soft on me now, you're making an appearance soon and it's very malicious...
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline Manuster

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #37 on: September 12, 2016, 19:08:29 »
Part 7


Kazuki awoke to find himself tied up. He opened his eyes to see that he was being carried by a ninja wearing Hidden Snow clothing.

"Damn, you're awake already?", the high-pitched voice of Kuria, his carrier, reminded Kazuki of the events prior to his passing out.

"It been like 2 minutes, we're not even out of the Village yet."  Kazuki struggled against the ropes to test their strength. He tried to infuse chakra into his hands only to have it sucked out of him by the rope.

"Specially sealing rope, exclusive from the Hidden Dust. Try all you want bro, but I'm taking you home." As Kuria finished the sentence, a nearby building exploded, reminding the pair of the Chakra Beast that continued to rampage. Orders were screamed out by ANBU and several shinobi were flung in the brothers' direction. Kazuki laughed.

"Brother, take this as a warning. Let...me...down." Kuria patted Kazuki's back sympathetically as they neared the village gates. The usually manned guardpost was empty as all spare shinobi had been enlisted into evacuating the village or fighting the threat at hand.

"C'mon bro, I knocked you out once, don't think I won't do it again." threatened Kuria. Kazuki scoffed in response. He started channelling chakra into his hands as a slow grin creeped upon his wounded face.

"With your Taijutsu you naturally had the advantage in that Earth Dome" Kuria stopped walking as the smell of burning reached his nose. He took a quick step back as he dumped his brother unto the ground. Kuria created distance between himself and Kazuki, and held up his fists as the charred ropes fizzled and fell to the ground.

"These...ropes, aren't designed to take that much chakra were they?" sneered Kazuki. He rose to his feet, taking his time to dust himself down. He cracked his knuckles and rolled his neck, almost taunting Kuria to attack him. But Kuria wouldn't move, his green eyes twinkled in the setting sun as he stared straight at Kazuki. Kazuki drew out out his sword, keeping his eyes locked firmly on Kuria. Dark clouds rolled over the Hidden Hill as the rising smoke helped darken the sky, any animals that hadn't already left the forests outside the village were leaving now; desperate to avoid the forthcoming storms both in the sky and on the ground.


Haruko Tsukegami paced around the edge of his Earth Dome, keeping his eyes firmly locked on that of his opponent. Ken Himitsu tried to wiggle his way out of the Earth Pit jutsu but only sank in deeper as a result. He looked Haruko in the eyes. They stared at each other for a while and started casting jutsu simultaneously. Haruko casted with one hand, throwing shuriken with the other whilst maintaining a constant distance from his enemy. Ken cast a small Water Dome and followed up with Water Style: Human Transformation; water poured out of Ken's nose, mouth and ears, as the shuriken clattered uselessly into the Water Dome.

"Fire Style: Flamethrower" shouted Haruko. He pointed his palms towards the Water Dome and opened his mouth; fire streamed from all 3 points, boiling the Water Dome on impact and going straight through to Ken, forcing him to stop his jutsu and bring up a wall of water in protection. The collison of water and fire filled the Earth Dome with a thick mist of boiling steam.

"Smart idea" said Ken, now defenceless. "Guess you're not as dumb as you look."

"You know I've read a lot about you" replied Haruko, "We actually have quite a lot in common..." Ken scoffed as he silently slid out of the earth pit.

"...Im serious!" insisted Haruko, "you failed your written test at the Chuunin exa-" A cold hand grabbed Haruko's foot and pulled him to the ground. Ken grabbed a sword from his back, his 6 sheaths now fully visible.

"I am nothing like you." Ken aimed to stab Haruko in the heart but was hit in back by a fireball from behind.

"As I was saying... we both still passed our Chuunin exams because of our quick thinking in battles and natural talent." Ken's lower back was burnt black, his upper back having been protected by the swords. He growled as he struggled to reach his feet. Haruko walked up to him and put a fireball to the burns, causing Ken to fall over and roar in pain.

"Y'know, at first I thought I was sentencing myself to death, trapping both of us within this massive Earth Dome. But then I realised that you'd fought Toichi, your brother AND summoned a chakra beast. I doubt even you have that much chakra left." Ken went silent for a while, not responding to Haruko's statement and not moving either, Haruko took a few cautious steps towards Ken and kicked him gently with his foot.

"By the Beast's...I've killed Ken..." Ken stayed silent for a little while more before letting out a short chuckle.

"Well done kid...well fucking done."

If Haruko hadn't seen it with his own eyes he wouldn't have believed what happened next. Ken appeared to melt into water, clothes and all, sinking straight into the ground underneath him. The ground below Haruko's feet shook as a tower of water shot out, tearing a hole through the Earth Dome. This was followed by another tower of water, and another and another. The Earth Dome was filling up with water at an incredible rate. Haruko responded by lowering the Earth Dome but a Water Dome simply took it's place. The water was now at Haruko's knees, he casted several fire ball jutsu, aiming them at the Water Dome but the water rose up from the growing mass to 'catch' them each and every time. He tried using Fire Style: Flamethrower;  the blast from his mouth got through and hit the Water Dome itself but the hole created was closed up immediately. This water was different from any other he had experienced...it was almost as if it was alive. He now needed to swim to stay afloat and panic set in when he realised that he might drown in here. He looked around for any escape but couldn't find any, he was trapped within a Water Dome from 3 sides with water between him and the ground.

An idea suddenly reached him, he took a deep breath and swam downwards, towards the ground, but as he was going to reach it, the mass of water literally dragged him upwards. He swam harder, his lungs threatening to burst, but he couldn't make any contact. His middle finger was literally a centimetre away from the ground; it almost as if the water was teasing him. He eventually had to give up and he let himself float to the surface. As he floated upwards, he realised that there was no more space within the Water Dome for him to come for air. His lungs gave way and he inhaled a deep breath of water, thrashing about violently in the process. He released a fire jutsu, boiling some of the water around him, but it made no change. He stopped thrashing and closed eyes, thinking one last thought;

"Can't believe I'm dying before Tsunayoshi."


"Well, who's going to move first?" teased Kazuki. He held his katana horizontally, turning it so the flat side faced upwards. He ran his thumb and index finger against the flat side of his blade, sparks flew and danced as the smile on his face grew. He finished his demonstration and pointed his katana upwards, a bolt of lightning left his blade, travelling upwards and dissipating into the sky. Before the thunderclap had even reached Kazuki's ears, he felt a sucking feeling in his gut. He saw nothing but a flash of green and brown as he collided through several trees, landing several metres into the trees that marked the border of the Hidden Forest and Hidden Hill.

"Keep your eyes on your opponent" warned Kuria as Kazuki detached himself from a large, oak tree. Kazuki looked up to see that Kuria's hands and feet were covered in a light green aura. The burning chakra resembled a flame and was several times larger at the fist that Kuria had used to punch him. Squinting through the trees, Kazuki could make out bruising at his knuckles.

"As I thought, using the Inner Gates takes quite a toll on you doesn't it." He had stood up by now and swung about his blade carelessly as he leaned his back against the same tree he had collided with. Nearby trees were cut in half, their top halves sliding and falling to the ground. With a few swings and little bit of wind chakra, Kazuki cleared the ground about 20m ahead of him.

"You don't even have enough chakra to protect your whole body" laughed Kazuki. "So, how about you run along now and we have another go later? Eh?" Kuria took out a pouch of energy pills.

"Oh? Ready for round 2?" asked Kazuki. Kuria poured out the contents of the bag unto his hand and swallowed them in one gulp. Kuria had consumed at least 6 chakra pills, 4 more than the maximum dose. Kazuki's eyes widened as Kuria's entire body became engulfed in a roaring aura of dark purple. The aura was at least 12 times greater than in their previous bout and the ground around Kuria responded as winds swept around the younger shinobi's body.

For the first time in the fight, Kazuki was worried. Despite the hits he had taken from Kuria, none were life threatening, not only was Kazuki gifted with an incredibly resilient body but he had trained to endure hits that would break the bones of even the most experienced Jonin.

As the wind around Kuria began to pick up, Kazuki began struggling to even stand. Knowing his brother was only now getting serious he realised he would have to go all out in this fight just to survive. Kazuki bent to his knees and removed the ankle weights on. A deep laugh resonated from Kuria;

"Oh so we're taking off our weights?" he asked. The words hit Kazuki harder than they should, the normally high-pitched - borderline squeaky - voice was far deeper than  before. Kuria unzipped his ninja vest and dropped it to the floor, a deep thud resonated around the enclosure. Underneath his vest was another thick layer of metal weights which he chose to leave on. He looked straight at Kazuki, his newly-acquired, deep voice booming;

"I'd sooner kill you myself than not bring you home."

Kazuki's mouth was dry, his limbs were heavy and he felt like throwing up. It dawned upon him that this was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long, long time. He denied it to himself, refusing to acknowledge it but he knew, deep within his heart, that this gnawing feeling was nothing but fear.


Amongst the burning, flattened ruins of Onimaro's home appeared 2 robed figures. A short, yet muscular man stood aside his taller compatriot. They both looked around, taking in the devastation and panic occurring around them. The short man's compatriot smiled, visibly enjoying the chaos, relishing in the cornucopia of destruction that he had commanded. On the other hand, the short man himself had reservations, reservations of course that he planned to keep to himself. He spotted something and beckoned to his partner, pointing in the direction of a large water dome in which a dark skinned individual appeared to be drowning in.

"Hey, Konohuro, isn't that Ken's Water Transformation Dome?" Konohuro watched the Water Dome and chuckled to himself.

"That fool seems to have pushed himself too far. I advised him that it would be wisest to stay out of hand to hand combat once he had summoned the Chakra Beast. But enough of that hard-headed simpleton; Rayzote, can you sense Kazuki?" Rayzote closed his eyes and after a short while pointed to the Southern Gate.

"He's over there Kono and....fucking hell...can you feel that? There's an enourmous amount of chakra with him, like half the size of a chakra beast...but far more refined..."

"It's Kuria Himitsu. And he's going to die." Rayzote turned to Konohuro. Konohuro had wandered into the wreckage and began to wade through it, he seemed to be looking for something.

"A-Are you sure? I doubt Kazuki can beat him with that amount of chakr-" Konohuro had seemed to find what he was looking for, he moved several large pieces of charred furniture away and picked up the body of a young, bleeding Hidden Hill shinobi. He then turned to Rayzote and sighed as if disappointed in his statement.

"You said it yourself Rayzote, the amount of chakra that guy is emitting is comparable to that of a chakra beast. Either that kid just consumed half a dozen energy pills or he's activated all 8 inner gates. Either way, he has 60 seconds at best before his internal organs burn into dust."

Rayzote stood stock-still in surprise as Konohuro turned and walked off in the direction of the Kage building. The ease at which Konohuro talked about death had always made Rayzote uneasy. He may have been the Envy of Katakiuchi but Rayzote had utterly no interest in bloodshed, he was a gentle spirit who specialised in Fuuinjutsu, Medical Ninjutsu and had a near-uncomparable understanding of forbidden jutsu and battle techniques. As a former member of the ANBU of the Hidden Metal, he also had links in all existing Hidden Villages, with detailed information on almost every Jonin and above ranked shinobi.

He looked around at the carnage caused and shook his head in disdain; his sensei, Star-Shizen (seriously? @cmsurfer ) would be disappointed if he knew that Rayzote had planned all this. A chakra beast was a messy way to destroy a village, so many innocent lives lost...Rayzote found himself balancing the positives and negatives of leaving Katakiuchi when his train of thought was interrupted by someone tapping on his shoulder. Ken Himitsu's head popped into Rayzote's vision as the ninja sauntered in front of him, positively radiant for a rogue shinobi with over 100 million on his head.

"Hey, Ray, whatcha doing here? Decided to join us real shinobi on the battlefront?" joked Ken Himitsu. Ken was covered with scars, his left leg twisted at the knee, and had an open stab wound in his right arm that needed urgent seeing too. Rayzote looked over to where Ken's Water Dome used to stand, only to see a wet, limp body laying in what could only be described as a "large sized puddle". Rayzote sighed, suddenly remebering that he had forgotten to ask Konohuro what he had wanted with the body of Toichi Tsukegami.


« Last Edit: March 25, 2017, 10:08:41 by Manuster »
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline Manuster

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #38 on: September 12, 2016, 19:08:48 »
Part 7 - continued

As Hokage of the Hidden Hill, Batt Tsukegami was supposed to be the first person informed in the case of emergencies. So when a 20 foot Tailed Beast appeared less than a mile away from his Kage building, he was pretty annoyed not to have gotten any warning. He activated the village wide evacuation alarm and just had time to get 3 large summoning scrolls from his office when he saw the chakra beast release a fire ball in his direction.

"I just fixed this window." moaned Batt. Breaking through the his office window on the 4th floor, he casted a large wall of water to defend the Kage building. The resulting collision caused a light cloud of steam to spread over the Hidden Hill. The cloud quickly condensed, causing a downpour that killed the fires on several nearby buildings. Still mid-air, Batt unrolled one of his summoning scrolls and summoned several sea creatures of various sizes. He landed upon a summoning and an old friend of his, the gigantic, Kraken, Jiriyu. Jiriyu was over twice the height of the chakra beast and his tentacles reached over 4 times the width. The summoning alone had crushed over a dozen buildings but with over 50% of the Hidden Hill already in flames, it was a price that Batt was prepared to pay.

"I need you guys to douse the fires. Anyone under 4 foot should help evacuate homes. Jiriyu... I'm leaving the lion to you." Over a dozen boulder sized toads, turtles and otters hopped, rolled and scurried off in different directions. The larger ones spread out and started dousing the homes, shooting rapid jets of water from their mouths.

"You are aware that I despise being summoned unto land." said Jiriyu. It's sheer size made it take far longer than it should have to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. Just one quick blast at the tailed beast that's destroying my village and I'll have you back home in no time, okay?" pleaded Batt. The size of Jiriyu meant that it was utterly immobile on land, it was also prone to overheating rather easily. It had to be summoned both to and from a battle, a task that required insanely large amounts of chakra. Failure to summon the beast back to it's home environment would cause an end to the contract, a rule that applied to each of the 3 behemoths that his 3 summoning scrolls could summon.

"Hmmm." was all the behemoth said in response. It slowly opened it's mouth and in a complete change of pace, a rapid, gargantuan jet of water left it's mouth, catching the chakra beast completely unaware. One second, the orange and red streaked beast was wrecking havoc on the Hidden Hill, the next, it had been blown several miles to the south, rolling to a stop near the border of the Hidden Dust. The force of the blast caused winds to blow southward, and the path that the rolling beast had taken was half filled with water, creating a river of sorts. The chakra beast was utterly drenched and it's famed "unquenchable" flames were pathetically weak. It struggled to stand up and falling back onto its stomach, it disappeared into a puff of smoke; returning to wherever chakra beasts reside.

"Damn...I forgot just how powerful you were." said an awed Batt. "But as promised, I'll send you home." Batt jumped off one of Jiriyu's tentacles onto a nearby building, opened up the scroll and placed his hand in the middle of it. He infused his chakra into it and concentrated carefully, sending only Jiriyu back; leaving the smaller sized summoning to continue aiding the Hidden Hill's evacuation. As the friendly behemoth vanished into a puff of smoke, Batt could hear it saying one more thing.

"Destroy the scrolls."

Batt collapsed to his knees, completely drained of chakra. He was unsure of what he heard, but he knew that as their keeper, it was his duty to protect the scrolls, and if that was impossible, destroy them. A voice made him turn around.

"So it's true what they say about you." Batt turned to witness a tall, well-built man walking to him in what could only be described as an "elegant" stride.

"Who...who are you?" said a cautious Batt. He was aware that he had absolutely no chakra and he was sceptical as to whether he could get help before this man approached him.

"Oh that's right, you probably don't recognise me. After all, I've been in hiding for quite some time." As the man walked closer to Batt, it became apparent that he was incredibly pale, a sign that he probably hadn't seen any sunlight in a while.

"Well, I'm sure you know my name..." the man said, stopping right in front of Batt. He held out his hand and smiled a genuinely warm smile. If Batt hadn't been an experienced shinobi, he might not have noticed the wickedness in the stranger's eyes.

"...Konohuro Kirishima."

Batt recoiled, grabbing the open scroll and taking the 2 others off his back. He picked up the open scroll, created a flame of fire in his hand and started to burn it,

"Now, now. Let's not be rash, that's the Sea-King Scroll, my favourite" said Konohuro. Batt looked up to see an injured Toichi Tsukegami in Konohuro's grasp. Konohuro held a kunai to the boy's neck.

"The scrolls. Or his life." Toichi shook his head vigourously.

"B-B-Batt sensei...p-p-please."

"Toichi...if he gets these scrolls then many many more people will die." Toichi's eyes began watering as he realised where Batt was going with this. He had always expected to die in battle, but not so early...or ungracefully.

"Toichi..." Batt gestured to the blue scroll in his hand. "You're not supposed to know this, but this is the Sea-King Scroll. It has the ability to summon any and all summoning animals that live in the sea. But specially, it's the only way to summon Jiriyu, the Sea-King." He picked up another, brown scroll.

"This can summon any and all summoning animals that live on land as well as the Earth-King, Tayugi." He picked up the last, white scroll.

"And this is the Sky-Queen Scroll which, as you can guess can summon all flying summons as well as the Sky-Queen Ryuja. I'm sure you've heard of the Earth, Sky and Sea Kingdoms." A nervous Toichi nodded.

"Well the beasts within these scrolls are the reason that they were ever created. Unlike the chakra beasts, they have unknown origin but their lives and moods are connected to the world around us. They have always been able to utilise a form of chakra different to that of the chakra beasts and for that reason are far superior in battle, not to mention they're several times larger. Within these scrolls...are the creators of Senjutsu." Toichi's eyes widened as he realised just how important these scrolls were. Maybe his death wouldn't be in vain.

Konohuro, meanwhile was getting impatient.

"Are you quite finished now? Good. Now he can die in peace." Konohuro slit Toichi's throat, tossing aside the body as blood spurted all over the rooftop. Batt quickly set alight the Sea-King and Earth-King Scrolls but Konohuro got to him before he could destroy the third. Konohuro tried to stab Batt with the same kunai he used to kill Toichi but Batt countered, turning the kunai against Konohuro. Batt stabbed Konohuro's in the chest, pushing the rogue to the ground and bombarding him with an assortment of kunai, shuriken and explosive tags.

"Huh...that was relatively easy." said a surprised Batt a moment later. He looked up at the sound of laughter and saw a waving Konohuro disappear into a puff of smoke. Batt looked down but the body on the floor in front of him was not that of Konohuro's anymore, but of Toichi Tsukegami's. Batt, now aware that he had been subtly placed under a Genjutsu, physically recoiled, falling to his knees in shock.

Toichi's body was torn to pieces by ninja tools with explosive tags leaving parts of his body a splattered mess. Batt desperately looked around but couldn't find any scrolls. He fell to the ground in a tired slump, only wondering what Konohuro planned to do with the scrolls.

As the last of the fires were quenched, an eerie quiet settled over the Hidden Hill.


Writer's Comment:
Spoiler: show
Fuck. My. Life. This Chapter was ready when Chapter 6 was, but expectation's for it were so high that I just had to go through it again. I've rewritten parts more times than I can count, and honestly I still have doubts about how Kazuki and Kuria's battle ended. I feel like I put more effort into this Chapter than I did into the first 6 Chapters combined. I can't even count the amount of hours I've spent on this.

Anywho, I'm not writing this to evoke pity over how hard I worked. I loved doing this, tremendously so, I just really want to thank everyone for all the amazing support this lil story of mine is getting. It could be the fact that I'm listening to Classical music right now, but I truly want to thank to everyone on SLO from the bottom of my heart. I've always hated writing, in school and especially outside of it. I did Chapter 1 out of boredom I suppose but it's snowballed into something far greater than I could have imagined.

There are probably some people reading this thinking "Dude chill, it's a character story on a mmo forum" and yes, ofc it is. But at the same time you've all helped me make this into so much more.

I'm going to stop this now as it's getting a bit too cringey (even for me) xD but once again, I'd like to Thank You, SLO.
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline taigakun

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #39 on: September 12, 2016, 22:12:34 »
Amazing as always man


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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #40 on: September 13, 2016, 05:50:26 »
do you make your grand entry when all the good ninjas are dead :3
jk this one gave me chills tho.
goodwork.




Offline Shivraj

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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #41 on: September 13, 2016, 08:25:30 »
You're going down the wrong road... @Mars

Is it worth dying just to kill me?

Awesome Chapter <3
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Offline Manuster

Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #42 on: September 13, 2016, 08:44:52 »
Amazing as always man

<3



do you make your grand entry when all the good ninjas are dead :3
jk this one gave me chills tho.
goodwork.


Something like that xDD



You're going down the wrong road... @Mars

Is it worth dying just to kill me?

Awesome Chapter <3

Ah thanks <3
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline Ken

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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #43 on: September 13, 2016, 17:15:05 »
You're not gonna make more chapters ? :'( NOOOO!!! This was awesome tho! If you need any help on writing more... pm me i can help you out if you want.



Offline Sanji

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Re: Manuster *******-Tsukegami
« Reply #44 on: September 13, 2016, 17:25:34 »
this was nice indeed,when you do next chapter let someone kill tsuna plox!! xp
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