Ataki Himitsu

[Leebz]

I must admit! ^_^

...this character:

 Looks. So. Bad.

Would've been funny if this had been a joke though.

Dragon, don't be a fucking dick all your life. The fuck is wrong with you?
If you dislike it, very well but be fucking constructive about it rather than slander someones work. You ain't got anything better anyway.

[Reminance]

I must admit! ^_^

...this character:

 Looks. So. Bad.

Would've been funny if this had been a joke though.

Dragon, don't be a fucking dick all your life. The fuck is wrong with you?
If you dislike it, very well but be fucking constructive about it rather than slander someones work. You ain't got anything better anyway.

+rep

[Dragon6624]

I must admit! ^_^

...this character:

 Looks. So. Bad.

Would've been funny if this had been a joke though.

Dragon, don't be a fucking dick all your life. The fuck is wrong with you?
If you dislike it, very well but be fucking constructive about it rather than slander someones work. You ain't got anything better anyway.

"...ain't got anything better anyway."

Leebz...you haven't even begun to fathom the depths of my intellect. The fuck is wrong with ME?!? The fuck is wrong with YOU, supporting this crap like it's Pulitzer-Prize winning writing. WORK?!? This isn't work, it's a mother-fucking bare-bones draft comprised of all the worst literature tropes known to man; all that's missing is Ataki having a pregnant wife and BAM, we'd be set for the Most Unoriginal Awards Winner of 2015.

You want to play hardball? Fine...let's play.

Spoiler: show

Right off the bat, we have the character name, Ataki Himitsu. The clan doesn't really matter, anyone can be part of a clan, and I've no real reason to care about whom you choose to be affiliated with. The first name, however, I did happen to be interested in. A name can mean a lot of things, giving us in-depth info on just "who" this character is.

...or it can be something pulled off of the internet, and randomly chosen based on how it sounds (guess which guy took THIS route  >> ^_^ <<).

Due to the Internet's rather...limited definitions of Japanese names, it isn't surprising that I only managed to find one source on the definition of it, which can be described here: http://www.kabalarians.com/Male/ataki.htm

If anything this is at LEAST a nice touch for the change in character later on, and I'll give credit for interest where it is due.

Age 22, no problem. Gender is--[i]again[/i]--no problemo. Height, 6'ft? Little bit odd, but hey, who's going to judge? Weight, 174 lbs...might be a bit light but okay, moving on (maybe he's slender, *shrugs*). Hair-style...yeah, happens a lot, I can understand this one tbh. Hair/Eye color, all clear. Blood-type, A+...little bit unoriginal, but we'll roll with it. Village of bir--alright, this part is meaningless in this critique. As I said before, I don't mind much whom you're affiliated with.

[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]Good or Evil at heart: Evil[/color]
[/quote]

Mmmmmm....can't you just SMELL what's coming? I know I can...given that this is a certain someone who types in letters [size=36pt][color=red]36[/color][/size]pt in size.

Now we get to what I commonly know as a Mary Sue, that one character that's just something so fucking insanely powerful and overrated, that we simply CAN'T believe them to be true. This particular trope-clone is described as a:

[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...brilliant, sharp minded person who has set upon the path of destruction and chaos.Seemingly kind, Ataki tricks people into trusting him,and later tortures them with the most painful methods he can come up with.He has incredible skill, but he paid a heavy price to obtain such power. Only for the sake of his ultimate goal, the world with only one ruler, where all would bow before him...[/color]
[/quote]

But don't worry, dear reader, for you see--[i]like any Anakin Skywalker[/i]--he: [quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...wasn't always like that.[/color]
[/quote]

Yes, we see it now, the beautiful, prosperous village he lived in, equipped with the full arsenal of flowers and Chocobo's glistening under an illuminated rainbow of sparkles and Disney magic. Numerous Bambis frolic in the background alongside their--[i]still living, mind you[/i]--mothers while Little Sisters laugh and giggle their pale little faces off under the loving green bi-polar gaze of their Big Daddies. Yes, it's wonderful, and from this lovely little magical land of Peacefulvania, comes our hero, who was a[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...kind person, a bit shy yet strong...[/color][/quote] and [i]"aldo"[/i]--[i]we're guessing he was also bored of this stereotypical character to care about typos[/i]--his talent was [quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...not too great, his mind was the sharpest in the entire village.[/color][/quote]

We continue on now, past our little Naruto-fan-fiction, and on to the next paragraph--[i]gods, what a long journey...I'm feeling exhausted from reading already, when will we ge[/i]--where we learn he is...*gasp*...called "trash" for having not very good talents.

OMG THE FEEEEELLLZZZZZ BRO, LIKE, Y DONT THES PEPLE JUS...LEAV HIM ALONE BRO LIKE, WHY IS EVERYON SO MEAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

#Poorimpersonations

Well, even Naruto got out of his little pickle, let's see if our dear friend learned the same lesson of [i]"manning the fuck up and getting on with his life". [/i]

Nope, turns out his father wanted to kill him and throw him out because of his son's relatively Chunin-like levels of skill.

Man, what a dad...probably buys his son coal every Christmas and then makes him eat it...*dream dad moment*.

Anyway, our hero get's attacked--[i]maybe he happened to be mistaken for an NPC by random players...?[/i]--and loses a friend in the process. All the sudden ([i]dun dun DUUUUUNNN[/i]) we find out that one of the attackers was his MOM O.O)

Well...this mom tops Precious's mother as the new [b]Grade A Bitch[/b]. Let's move on and see just what happens next.

...oh, right. I guess that's normal, you know, going into depression. I'll give him points for having made at least ONE realistic side-effect of being--[i]for no particularly well explained reason[/i]--the most hated person in town [b]and[/b] having lost a friend [b]and[/b] having killed his own mom on accident [b]despite[/b] that she clearly wanted to give him a Colombian Neck-Tie.

Eventually, he goes insane from guilt, killing off his father and--[i]like the best brother in the world[/i]--his seemingly innocent sibling as well ^_^). He then vanishes faster than Vreg can say "Not until Tuesday" and goes off the grid like the totally skilled CHUNIN LEVEL NINJA that he is, bypassing the hunter-nin, rogue shinobi, and other completely unaddressed dangers scattered widely throughout the world with his "Pass Go: Collect 200 Lucky Silver Dollars" card.

At this point in the story, we're told that--[i]as our Messiah character walked the earth, probably clad in robes and followed by at least a baker's dozen of disciples; whilst sporting the most epic of spectacles and long, flowing white Gandalf-beards[/i]--he was visited by a strange--[i]also completely unexplained[/i]--voice that promised him "raddddddical bro" amounts power, beyond even HIS day-time masturbation fantasies..and we're pretty sure he had a lot of those...or at least his author did. That self-same author then--[i]in some sort of a confused attempt to create a COMPELLING character for once[/i]--tells us that Ataki knows that he will pay the "ultimate price", but accepts this "power"...which we can only assume must be somewhere between "OVER 9000!!!" and "MICHAEL BAY EXPLOSION ECSTASY!!!!!"

So yet again--[i]despite the fact that he's ALREADY vanished[/i]--our hero then vanishes x2, perhaps even managing to go meta and break the fourth wall, we aren't really told for sure as the author tries to make it "so mysterious" that he just..."left...bro" without a trace.

...but NOW...YES, now he's BACK--[i]in black >_<[/i]--and ready to KICK YOUR ASS VREG. YEAAAAHHHH, you KNOW THAT SOME MAJA SHIT'S GOIN' DOWN TONIGHT HOME BOY, GET YO ASS READY, IT'S GOD-MODE TIME! *^*)

And here-in lies the last part of my critique, the fact that yet ANOTHER player has given us this whole character past and power level without the slightest CLUE as to how well they'll ACTUALLY DO IN THE GAME.

P.S. Leebz, here's three things my own--admittedly poor, but at least mind-blowingly better than this tripe--OC does that makes this look like child's play:

Spoiler: show

1. It's an...OMG...AN ATTEMPT AT AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER BACKSTORY THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE CHARACTER RULING THE WORLD LIKE HIS OWN PERSONAL SEX SLAVE O.O)

2. It...TRIES TO MAKE THE CHARACTER COMPELLING IN AN INTERESTING AND REASONABLE FASHION.

3. It...ACTUALLY GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE IS GOING TO READ AND CRITIQUE IT, AND THEREFORE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE ITSELF LOOK AS PROFESSIONAL AND ENGAGING AS POSSIBLE (O)___(O)

@Vreg

Spoiler: show

Your choice whether or not this stays or goes...with the same mind for myself as a member of this community. Yes, it completely shotguns an unfortunate, more than likely innocent player by the name of mislav000, and YES, it's also a mile long. However, I just wanted to show the extent of how INFURIATING it is to see something like this over...and over...and over...and over again; And how MIND-BOGGLING it is that someone would DEFEND THIS.

@Reminance 

Spoiler: show

I get what you were trying to do, and that's mostly the reason why I left it alone before with that simple comment, but it's rather unfortunate that all of your peace-talk efforts went to shambles. No insults are intended towards you, of all people, and in fact, +reputation for trying to keep the peace.

@Leebz

Spoiler: show

-respect for defending this so vigorously. If you wanted to see this character get a fair shot, you should have brought up some goddamn note-worthy points as to WHY. I've passed in my critique, and if either you or the--you'll learn some day...I hope--unlucky mislav000 have anything against getting a "constructive" critique...know this.

So long as I am on here...every time I see a character post of such MONSTROUS and UNFATHOMABLE amounts of idiotic, unoriginal, Mary-Sue, illiterate, power-porn works of fan-fiction on here, I will do my UTMOST to make sure that the author understands:

What they have done wrong.

Why it's wrong to write like this.

How it spreads a bad influence upon the rest of the new players entering the forums.

And--most importantly--why they MUST make sure to STRIVE for better, higher-quality characters and posts.

...if you guys can't handle this...then I can't handle your hideous, boil-ridden posts upon these forums. I'll leave the rest for Vreg to decide, and even if I AM banned from these forums...I hope you guys can take this TO HEART.

PLEASE...strive for better...

P.S.S Vader--motherfuckin'--Uchiha

[Shivraj]

Calm down man... Not everyone can be so good at writing, plus, the history part is just for fun okay? you can go wild, and just cause you are better at writing doesn't mean you can have a high and mighty demeanor towards him and/or others, he might be better at something else, you never know, and seriously, what happened to constructive critique? "Looks. So. Bad." like that helps him, and when you did give constructive criticism, it was in such a fashion that it just makes the guy negative towards your criticism, making him LESS likely to take it in mind, so you just worked OPPOSITE to your goal, if you don't want to see him writing more stuff like this, then tell him what's wrong, in a friendly manner, or ignore it.... Now, the way you launched at Leebz, man, not cool... looks like you took all the stress you had and launched it, Leebz is kind of right... you ARE being a dick, no reason to launch at him, right? don't act like you are the smartest guy around, no one likes a person who slanders everything, even if it is quite shabby... like I said, please try to give constructive criticism(in a friendly manner) from now on, oh and, there is a chance you'll launch at me, go on, tell me where I'm wrong in this.

@dragon6624

[Mars]

lol dragon.
Your points are invalid.

Firstly how is 6ft weird? I'm 14 and I'm 5'11. I'm pretty sure Leebz is like 6'4. I don't know how tall people are where you live, but it seems to me they're even smaller than your genitals.

The rest of your points were stupid. They made no sense whatsoever, you're just being a dick for the sake of it.
Okay, he wrote in big font. So what? I doubt a pin headed idiot like you would of even been able to read it if it wasn't that big. Big text doesn't make a character bad.


Your character isn't much better, let me pick that apart for you

Let's talk about originality, guess what. 3 other people have named their character Shingen so don't rip into Ataki for being "unoriginal"

Your character is 5'4 at the age of 17 years old. I'm 14, as I already stated and I'm 5'11. I would tower over your 17 year old character like he was a kiddie.

Your character's father died. Oh boy, isn't that original!

Your character magically became a skilled shinobi! No he didn't, how will you know that? You never even play the game, and when you do - you suck. This isn't roleplay buddy! You can't just decide and tell everyone you're good *cough*Tsukegami*cough*

Your character becomes a rogue basically because his Dad died and wanted to get revenge on those who led him to death. Well, I've never seen that before.


Now piss off flaming other people characters without construct criticism when yours is the biggest cliché in the book.

[Reminance]

@dragon6624 no offense taken ^^
 It's frustrating to see the same story over and over again.
 It's either overused or bad. (But they are new on the forums so I leave them be)

[Leebz]

I must admit! ^_^

...this character:

 Looks. So. Bad.

Would've been funny if this had been a joke though.

Dragon, don't be a fucking dick all your life. The fuck is wrong with you?
If you dislike it, very well but be fucking constructive about it rather than slander someones work. You ain't got anything better anyway.

"...ain't got anything better anyway."

Leebz...you haven't even begun to fathom the depths of my intellect. The fuck is wrong with ME?!? The fuck is wrong with YOU, supporting this crap like it's Pulitzer-Prize winning writing. WORK?!? This isn't work, it's a mother-fucking bare-bones draft comprised of all the worst literature tropes known to man; all that's missing is Ataki having a pregnant wife and BAM, we'd be set for the Most Unoriginal Awards Winner of 2015.

You want to play hardball? Fine...let's play.

Spoiler: show

Right off the bat, we have the character name, Ataki Himitsu. The clan doesn't really matter, anyone can be part of a clan, and I've no real reason to care about whom you choose to be affiliated with. The first name, however, I did happen to be interested in. A name can mean a lot of things, giving us in-depth info on just "who" this character is.

...or it can be something pulled off of the internet, and randomly chosen based on how it sounds (guess which guy took THIS route  >> ^_^ <<).

Due to the Internet's rather...limited definitions of Japanese names, it isn't surprising that I only managed to find one source on the definition of it, which can be described here: http://www.kabalarians.com/Male/ataki.htm

If anything this is at LEAST a nice touch for the change in character later on, and I'll give credit for interest where it is due.

Age 22, no problem. Gender is--[i]again[/i]--no problemo. Height, 6'ft? Little bit odd, but hey, who's going to judge? Weight, 174 lbs...might be a bit light but okay, moving on (maybe he's slender, *shrugs*). Hair-style...yeah, happens a lot, I can understand this one tbh. Hair/Eye color, all clear. Blood-type, A+...little bit unoriginal, but we'll roll with it. Village of bir--alright, this part is meaningless in this critique. As I said before, I don't mind much whom you're affiliated with.

[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]Good or Evil at heart: Evil[/color]
[/quote]

Mmmmmm....can't you just SMELL what's coming? I know I can...given that this is a certain someone who types in letters [size=36pt][color=red]36[/color][/size]pt in size.

Now we get to what I commonly know as a Mary Sue, that one character that's just something so fucking insanely powerful and overrated, that we simply CAN'T believe them to be true. This particular trope-clone is described as a:

[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...brilliant, sharp minded person who has set upon the path of destruction and chaos.Seemingly kind, Ataki tricks people into trusting him,and later tortures them with the most painful methods he can come up with.He has incredible skill, but he paid a heavy price to obtain such power. Only for the sake of his ultimate goal, the world with only one ruler, where all would bow before him...[/color]
[/quote]

But don't worry, dear reader, for you see--[i]like any Anakin Skywalker[/i]--he: [quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...wasn't always like that.[/color]
[/quote]

Yes, we see it now, the beautiful, prosperous village he lived in, equipped with the full arsenal of flowers and Chocobo's glistening under an illuminated rainbow of sparkles and Disney magic. Numerous Bambis frolic in the background alongside their--[i]still living, mind you[/i]--mothers while Little Sisters laugh and giggle their pale little faces off under the loving green bi-polar gaze of their Big Daddies. Yes, it's wonderful, and from this lovely little magical land of Peacefulvania, comes our hero, who was a[quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...kind person, a bit shy yet strong...[/color][/quote] and [i]"aldo"[/i]--[i]we're guessing he was also bored of this stereotypical character to care about typos[/i]--his talent was [quote author=mislav000 link=topic=1884.msg24858#msg24858 date=1444749346]
[color=red]...not too great, his mind was the sharpest in the entire village.[/color][/quote]

We continue on now, past our little Naruto-fan-fiction, and on to the next paragraph--[i]gods, what a long journey...I'm feeling exhausted from reading already, when will we ge[/i]--where we learn he is...*gasp*...called "trash" for having not very good talents.

OMG THE FEEEEELLLZZZZZ BRO, LIKE, Y DONT THES PEPLE JUS...LEAV HIM ALONE BRO LIKE, WHY IS EVERYON SO MEAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

#Poorimpersonations

Well, even Naruto got out of his little pickle, let's see if our dear friend learned the same lesson of [i]"manning the fuck up and getting on with his life". [/i]

Nope, turns out his father wanted to kill him and throw him out because of his son's relatively Chunin-like levels of skill.

Man, what a dad...probably buys his son coal every Christmas and then makes him eat it...*dream dad moment*.

Anyway, our hero get's attacked--[i]maybe he happened to be mistaken for an NPC by random players...?[/i]--and loses a friend in the process. All the sudden ([i]dun dun DUUUUUNNN[/i]) we find out that one of the attackers was his MOM O.O)

Well...this mom tops Precious's mother as the new [b]Grade A Bitch[/b]. Let's move on and see just what happens next.

...oh, right. I guess that's normal, you know, going into depression. I'll give him points for having made at least ONE realistic side-effect of being--[i]for no particularly well explained reason[/i]--the most hated person in town [b]and[/b] having lost a friend [b]and[/b] having killed his own mom on accident [b]despite[/b] that she clearly wanted to give him a Colombian Neck-Tie.

Eventually, he goes insane from guilt, killing off his father and--[i]like the best brother in the world[/i]--his seemingly innocent sibling as well ^_^). He then vanishes faster than Vreg can say "Not until Tuesday" and goes off the grid like the totally skilled CHUNIN LEVEL NINJA that he is, bypassing the hunter-nin, rogue shinobi, and other completely unaddressed dangers scattered widely throughout the world with his "Pass Go: Collect 200 Lucky Silver Dollars" card.

At this point in the story, we're told that--[i]as our Messiah character walked the earth, probably clad in robes and followed by at least a baker's dozen of disciples; whilst sporting the most epic of spectacles and long, flowing white Gandalf-beards[/i]--he was visited by a strange--[i]also completely unexplained[/i]--voice that promised him "raddddddical bro" amounts power, beyond even HIS day-time masturbation fantasies..and we're pretty sure he had a lot of those...or at least his author did. That self-same author then--[i]in some sort of a confused attempt to create a COMPELLING character for once[/i]--tells us that Ataki knows that he will pay the "ultimate price", but accepts this "power"...which we can only assume must be somewhere between "OVER 9000!!!" and "MICHAEL BAY EXPLOSION ECSTASY!!!!!"

So yet again--[i]despite the fact that he's ALREADY vanished[/i]--our hero then vanishes x2, perhaps even managing to go meta and break the fourth wall, we aren't really told for sure as the author tries to make it "so mysterious" that he just..."left...bro" without a trace.

...but NOW...YES, now he's BACK--[i]in black >_<[/i]--and ready to KICK YOUR ASS VREG. YEAAAAHHHH, you KNOW THAT SOME MAJA SHIT'S GOIN' DOWN TONIGHT HOME BOY, GET YO ASS READY, IT'S GOD-MODE TIME! *^*)

And here-in lies the last part of my critique, the fact that yet ANOTHER player has given us this whole character past and power level without the slightest CLUE as to how well they'll ACTUALLY DO IN THE GAME.

P.S. Leebz, here's three things my own--admittedly poor, but at least mind-blowingly better than this tripe--OC does that makes this look like child's play:

Spoiler: show

1. It's an...OMG...AN ATTEMPT AT AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER BACKSTORY THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE CHARACTER RULING THE WORLD LIKE HIS OWN PERSONAL SEX SLAVE O.O)

2. It...TRIES TO MAKE THE CHARACTER COMPELLING IN AN INTERESTING AND REASONABLE FASHION.

3. It...ACTUALLY GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE IS GOING TO READ AND CRITIQUE IT, AND THEREFORE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE ITSELF LOOK AS PROFESSIONAL AND ENGAGING AS POSSIBLE (O)___(O)

@Vreg

Spoiler: show

Your choice whether or not this stays or goes...with the same mind for myself as a member of this community. Yes, it completely shotguns an unfortunate, more than likely innocent player by the name of mislav000, and YES, it's also a mile long. However, I just wanted to show the extent of how INFURIATING it is to see something like this over...and over...and over...and over again; And how MIND-BOGGLING it is that someone would DEFEND THIS.

@Reminance 

Spoiler: show

I get what you were trying to do, and that's mostly the reason why I left it alone before with that simple comment, but it's rather unfortunate that all of your peace-talk efforts went to shambles. No insults are intended towards you, of all people, and in fact, +reputation for trying to keep the peace.

@Leebz

Spoiler: show

-respect for defending this so vigorously. If you wanted to see this character get a fair shot, you should have brought up some goddamn note-worthy points as to WHY. I've passed in my critique, and if either you or the--you'll learn some day...I hope--unlucky mislav000 have anything against getting a "constructive" critique...know this.

So long as I am on here...every time I see a character post of such MONSTROUS and UNFATHOMABLE amounts of idiotic, unoriginal, Mary-Sue, illiterate, power-porn works of fan-fiction on here, I will do my UTMOST to make sure that the author understands:

What they have done wrong.

Why it's wrong to write like this.

How it spreads a bad influence upon the rest of the new players entering the forums.

And--most importantly--why they MUST make sure to STRIVE for better, higher-quality characters and posts.

...if you guys can't handle this...then I can't handle your hideous, boil-ridden posts upon these forums. I'll leave the rest for Vreg to decide, and even if I AM banned from these forums...I hope you guys can take this TO HEART.

PLEASE...strive for better...

P.S.S Vader--motherfuckin'--Uchiha

Wtf are you on about? I never gone to flame war with you before, if I did then you aren't memorable. I'd like to say I would ruin your reputation here but what reputation? No one here even really knows who you are and you barely been here a year and think you can start opening your mouth about someones character and how "bad" it is, get real. Your character is a piece of shit compared to this one regardless. Yes, maybe it is a bit common but so fucking what, with tons of people here some are going to be similar. Least it wasn't some Uchiha fanboy saying he wants to destroy the Leaf Village. If it was, I would understand your slandering comment but tbh you're just some kid wanting to make this poor chap feel bad because he is newer than you. Sorry to say but you are wrong, you don't have any right to slander this guys work, especially with your shit of a character.

P.S: Idgaf if your character is shit tbh, but I do care when you go around acting like your better than this guy just because you been here a few months and I am sure many would agree. Stop acting like a big shot and grow the fuck up will ya?

[Dragon6624]

Calm down man... Not everyone can be so good at writing, plus, the history part is just for fun okay? you can go wild, and just cause you are better at writing doesn't mean you can have a high and mighty demeanor towards him and/or others, he might be better at something else, you never know, and seriously, what happened to constructive critique? "Looks. So. Bad." like that helps him, and when you did give constructive criticism, it was in such a fashion that it just makes the guy negative towards your criticism, making him LESS likely to take it in mind, so you just worked OPPOSITE to your goal, if you don't want to see him writing more stuff like this, then tell him what's wrong, in a friendly manner, or ignore it.... Now, the way you launched at Leebz, man, not cool... looks like you took all the stress you had and launched it, Leebz is kind of right... you ARE being a dick, no reason to launch at him, right? don't act like you are the smartest guy around, no one likes a person who slanders everything, even if it is quite shabby... like I said, please try to give constructive criticism(in a friendly manner) from now on, oh and, there is a chance you'll launch at me, go on, tell me where I'm wrong in this.

@dragon6624

No chance, you hit home on every mark. It's true, I did take it out on Leebz, mostly because I was offended by how he seemed to defend such a bad OC. *Sighs*....yeah, I'll agree that not everyone can write well....

...but that's not to say that they shouldn't be told to aim for higher standards. Agreed again, though, that my first comment was absolute hate. 100%, and Leebz just happened to stumble into it.

@Leebz

Spoiler: show

I'll still say that you managed to get only one accurate counter out of your three arguments...but I will apologize for not approaching this the right way. I will also apologize for completely rampaging on you, I was pissed--again, you know why--and I reallllly can't stand constantly seeing these Clone Characterizations on the forums. The insinuation that my writing was absolute shit...well, that more or less pushed the wrong buttons at just the wrong time. This doesn't excuse my actions, of course, and it's really up to you to decide whether or not this apology seems sincere.

@mislav000

Spoiler: show

I would still like to see you strive for a better, more original character. Perhaps something that doesn't go along the lines of "God-Mode" levels of power or "Corrupted by madness". Something more...normal.

@Shivraj How to put this......

Spoiler: show

Out of the three others involved in this conflict...only you happened to give a satisfying response. It's very likely that--had I not seen a response of similar merit--I would have just continued this flame-war with Leebz, and the result probably would've been me receiving a pretty hefty ban from the forums.

I revoke my former statements on all accounts; from here on out, I will approach characters with a better level of understanding and patience...and perhaps it'll do both the newcomers and myself some good.

On a final note:

I never said I was the smartest guy around, or that I had anything close to a "reputation" on these forums. And that you'd insult my intelligence...that seemed a bit low. However--given my previous out-burst--I can't say I'm the victim of this whole mess, more like the perpetrator really. If pride comes before the fall, then I suppose I'd better get to tempering my pride.

[Shivraj]

._. You took that quite well! Tbh I didn't quite expect that xD so, thank you for taking it that well , and I realize you never said you were the smartest x3 I just blurted that out ;3. @dragon6624

[Dragon6624]

._. You took that quite well! Tbh I didn't quite expect that xD so, thank you for taking it that well , and I realize you never said you were the smartest x3 I just blurted that out ;3. @dragon6624

"Quite well" is hardly the choice of words for "feels like an asshole", but I thank you for a truthful response. I'm a bit of a bomb, tending to slowly build up until just...exploding, and it was wrong of me to take it out on the forums.

Again, my deepest of apologies mislav000 and Leebz, I really acted like a complete jackass there. No one deserves to be blasted for something so absurdly small as one person's bias against another's OC. I'm not asking for forgiveness, mind you, just empathy.

[mislav000]

listen up, I know my writing is bad, and I know you are rhinking an unoriginal story again, but hear me out, I will try to improve myself, I just typed something that I was feeling like writing at that time, as for the name, Amiki just randomly occured in my mind, I wanted to name him Linley(from Cd) but thought it was probably used already.I am not angry for dragon's words. I am a chill type and even the wai u say this was a joke. I will accept critisism always and strive to improve. Thanx guys fir standing up for me but it was unnecessary. I only hope to experience this game to the fullest, and this was one way to help me be more immersed in the game.P.S. I know it's full of spelling mistakes I wrote this quickly in my phone

[Nova]

Sorry for asking, but is there really no way for me to make you use smaller letters?
It's not that I can't read it now, but it's unpleasant for me and I think for some others as well.
I in no way want to offend you, I am just making sure.

[mislav000]

Lol 😁 fine if I'll write normally from now on

[Nova]

Thanks <3 I greatly appreciate it.

[Dragon6624]

listen up, I know my writing is bad, and I know you are rhinking an unoriginal story again, but hear me out, I will try to improve myself, I just typed something that I was feeling like writing at that time, as for the name, Amiki just randomly occured in my mind, I wanted to name him Linley(from Cd) but thought it was probably used already.I am not angry for dragon's words. I am a chill type and even the wai u say this was a joke. I will accept critisism always and strive to improve. Thanx guys fir standing up for me but it was unnecessary. I only hope to experience this game to the fullest, and this was one way to help me be more immersed in the game.P.S. I know it's full of spelling mistakes I wrote this quickly in my phone

*Cries tears of joy.*

lol dragon.
Your points are invalid.

Firstly how is 6ft weird? I'm 14 and I'm 5'11. I'm pretty sure Leebz is like 6'4. I don't know how tall people are where you live, but it seems to me they're even smaller than your genitals.

The rest of your points were stupid. They made no sense whatsoever, you're just being a dick for the sake of it.
Okay, he wrote in big font. So what? I doubt a pin headed idiot like you would of even been able to read it if it wasn't that big. Big text doesn't make a character bad.


Your character isn't much better, let me pick that apart for you

Let's talk about originality, guess what. 3 other people have named their character Shingen so don't rip into Ataki for being "unoriginal"

Your character is 5'4 at the age of 17 years old. I'm 14, as I already stated and I'm 5'11. I would tower over your 17 year old character like he was a kiddie.

Your character's father died. Oh boy, isn't that original!

Your character magically became a skilled shinobi! No he didn't, how will you know that? You never even play the game, and when you do - you suck. This isn't roleplay buddy! You can't just decide and tell everyone you're good *cough*Tsukegami*cough*

Your character becomes a rogue basically because his Dad died and wanted to get revenge on those who led him to death. Well, I've never seen that before.


Now piss off flaming other people characters without construct criticism when yours is the biggest cliché in the book.

....*seems I wasn't the only person who needed to let off some steam. Ty for the gif, I could always use a good laugh from our in-forum jester*...

Anyway, I'll stop posting on here, as I've flooded this topic enough as it is.

One final time, apologies to mislav000 and Leebz--especially Leebz--for such being such a melodramatic bitch. Many thanks for Shivraj and Rem's work...though I'm not really sure what Mars was actually trying to accomplish here...feed the fire perhaps?

*That time of the month I suppose*