Forum and Discord Name: Yagami

Character name: Yagami Akaihono

Chakra nature:

Previous clan(if any): never had.

Village: Kazangakure

Branch you identify with: Bhima

Welcome to Agni. Do PM me for the discord link

Maybe make the shurikken spin, that'd make it perfect

Damn this was long...

Quote from: adithya on June 04, 2017, 20:01:35

What if the reason to sadness is this structure to which one has to adhere to?

When your answer to this cannot go past ‘My name is Adithya Dananjay’, you need to start pondering your existence.

Those 2 parts really got to me.....random but cool

Quote from: Blazefp on June 05, 2017, 18:35:13

and if we all came advertising our problems online this forum would be flooded with these stories.

it's neither a story or a problem lmao  u legit said u didnt read it

Lmao yeah, I just wrote till I felt better.

That was my hope in posting this. (not writing it. I wrote it for me)

@adithya  That's a pretty childish response, resorting half of your post to making fun of my words and the other half triggering because I said "Indian teenager" and talked about different cultures... You could have done all that in just a couple of paragraphs easy with proper arguments...

I'm starting to find it upsetting that I need to justify every single word in my posts here.

You posted saying you're sad for no reason at all and don't want help from anyone here, good for you, but it's still a cry for help no matter what you tell yourself and guess what fuels that? Are you upset that we humans are that basic that a simple hormonal change (read chemical reaction) can shape our feelings? Well too bad, we are those chemical reactions. Robots ran by chemistry instead of electricity. Teenagers are just more prone to said hormonal changes that mess up their feelings for biological reasons that I don't wish to discuss. But I digress.
You wanted a train of thoughts, I gave you my thought on the matter on the very first post, you might not like it but you can't really complain.

As for getting triggered about culture thingy, have you ever set foot off India? I'm not being racist, just realistic, if I have a social problem in Portugal I know exactly how to act and which options I have but if I go to Germany for instance things are a bit different, even more in Japan or India.
So yeah you'll get a soup of "thoughts", each maybe making sense in one culture but being completely rubbish in another and that's assuming everyone here is the same age which they aren't and answers honestly which they don't, hence rendering all the effort you took writing that wall of text pointless.

"I'm starting to find it upsetting that I need to justify every single word in my posts here."

Yeah, sucks doesn't it?


And again, you've COMPLETELY misinterpreted or just looking for spite. And I still stand by being butthurt because you had to bring up the fact that I was Indian and somehow being so is one of the factors for the way I feel. All I asked you was: what the fuck does that have to do with being sad for no reason.

"You might not like it but you can't really complain"
 Well, I agree with you. Chemical reactions=change in mood. Teenagers more prone.

But my entire "wall of post" as you've so exquisitely put it, was in hopes of pondering a more philosophical thought. It was not a biology question that I could've gotten the answer to from a 10 year old, but something that was going through my head, which I decided to articulate in the best form that I was able to conjure.

And again, what the fuck does my ethnicity have to do with my thoughts?
 I have "set foot outside of my country", but what does that have to do with anything? Nowhere in my "wall of text" have I said

"My parents said I can't go out with my friends so I hate them. What do I do, I hate my life. If only I was living in Japan I wouldn't have to deal with this bs. Right other teens? Plz help me."

What I've written is not meant FOR anyone specifically. It's not meant specifically for people on this forum. I didn't write this thinking "yeah, gars or banu will read this, let me say something that will trigger a response because oh yeah, I love all that attention."

Like I said earlier, I never expected, not did I want a response to my post. All I needed to know, was that if someone feeling the same way as I do comes across this post (seeing as how it's on a public platform ) might connect to it and be able to relate, leading to them feeling a little better.

Thus, my "wall of text" is not pointless, seeing as how it might help at the very least me at a later date, if not someone who might come across this post feeling lost

If you had properly read my reply to you, not letting all the italics and the bold words get to your head, you'd have realized how fruitless making a third post would've been.

I would recommend completely understanding a piece of information, or at the very least fully reading a piece of information, or comment, or in my case "a wall of text" before publicizing your poorly informed opinions.






I won't be surprised if all you can think of is that I took offense at your comment at my post and that I need to grow up. (yeah. I'm talking about the wall of text thing)

2 things adithya
First I didn't finish reading this because it was extremely long. It sounds like your searching for somthing that you likely not find here on this forum. In fact I doubt you'll find it on a electronic device. No one here is qualified to give advice on any topic you discussed. I am impressed that you took the time to try and put in to words somthing that is largely ineffable.
But somthing so complex is not likely to get a large response on a forum designed for entertainment perposes.

Second because the title is not obvious to the subject matter and the subject Matter is so long you can't really feel surprised that the largely immature people on this forum make jokes about somthing that is obviously a serious subject.

I'd like to thank you for a reply which actually adds to the topic.

To be clear: I never wanted/expected a response. I was never planning to post this till I actually clicked on SLO to check the site for updates.

 The only reason why I posted it here was because someone whose thoughts were similar to mine might read it and could feel like they're not alone in their thoughts, not because I wanted someone to read this and go 'yo man you okay?'

Also, joking and shitposting are two different things. and the second guy literally made an account just to make his comment. I was just pointing out how his time could've been spent better.

Finally, thoughts without reason is exactly what I've talked about. Feeling a certain way without a specific trigger or cause.

I understand how it wont sit well in a site like this, my bad. I just wanted to put into words the different shit that was going through my head man, I became salty when other people didn't respect it.

Sadness and melancholy:

What are these feelings really?
I personally don’t quite know. Are they essential? Are they inherent? Are they the child of a situation that you are placed in? Are they the outcome of a certain incident?

Or are they just present?
Do these feelings exist because of reasons unknown to man?

I am sad.

You may ask me, why?

If I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn’t be writing this.
I just am.
As sadness exists, so does my feeling it.

None of this makes sense to you, I know.

But what if it didn’t have to?

What if there needn’t be structure to anything?

What if the reason to sadness is this structure to which one has to adhere to?

What if the reason to experiencing sadness is the inability to meet expectations? Not of other’s, but of yourself?
Not set for yourself, but set for others?
What happens when man is betrayed?
   Should he have expected it?
What if man betrays?
   Did the person on the receiving end deserve it?

I digress.

Sadness: a useless emotion.
Sadness: the purest emotion after rage.
Sadness: the only emotion to counter ecstasy 

How does sadness help you?

I have no clue.

I know how it’s helping me though: I am motivated to write something, no matter how shitty.

I stare at a screen almost 20 hours a day. Be it my computer, my phone, the television or the brilliant plays that unfold before everyone’s eyes, where you are forced to take part.

You needn’t have chosen it, but you just are. You play the part which is forced upon you.
You may hate the play, but, ultimately, it is you who is the director.
It is you, who is the actor.
It is you, who is the side character.
It is you, who is the interpreter.
It is you, who is in complete control.
It is you, who is in utter chaos.

But the real problem arises, when the first three words from me are followed up with the fourth one from you.
It is you.
Who?
Who are you?
Who is you?
Who am I?

When your answer to this cannot go past ‘My name is Adithya Dananjay’, you need to start pondering your existence.
 Sure: I’m good at something- well, I’m pretty go- I AM better than mos-
When you start to become unsure of yourself.

When you find it so hard to list out something you know you are amazing at, something you know no one can beat you at, something at which you are next only to you in the next few minutes, you know something’s not right.

It IS possible to live with the feeling of never being the best at something; never being unique.
But what kind of life is that? One where you are treated like dirt? One where you are the background character in the play, never offered the position of Romeo OR Juliet? One where Shakespeare would brush you off as fodder for the scene?

Let me ask you: Would you really be okay with leading such a life?
Never getting to be at the center stage, always taken to the edge. Always left hanging. Listening to Moonlight Sonata, writing a super edgy millennial ‘oh I’m so depressed give me attention’ arti- paragraph?

I certainly wouldn’t. I don’t believe you would either.

But the truth is

We’re all the side character in every other person’s story. We’re the supporting cast in someone’s romance, someone’s thriller, someone else’s story.

But doesn’t that make all of us the main characters of our own story?

Sure it does.

But the difference is:
You are the main character of a story that no one will glance towards a second time.

Do you feel sad for me? Or do you find your life condensed down in one line?

Either way: If I’ve not murdered your puppies or done something equally fucking evil, you probably feel sad, or at least not ecstatic.
So why did I want to make you sad?
To bring you to the point I started to make in the beginning.

Is this feeling essential? Would you be more satisfied if you hadn’t felt sad?

I don’t know how I feel right now. I don’t know if I feel anything at all. After all, you aren’t real. Yes, that’s right. Everyone I imagined would be reading this. You’re all in my mind reading this, but you never will.
I never planned on actually sending this out to you.
I’ve wanted many people to feel sad in the time I’ve been alive in this world, but when feeling the way you might if you read this, I’ve decided that I don’t want you to feel this way.

This might not be sadness, but it sure as hell isn’t something I’d like anyone to feel.
So what could this be, then? Loneliness? Jealousy? What if it’s nothing?
What if, this is: to feel ‘numb’?
After four pages in word, I give up. I can’t chase after the meaning for this anymore. I’ve accepted that it’s just a new feeling: When I don’t want to watch another episode of that show, when I couldn’t give less of a shit about a person whom I would have called a best friend, when I could live without seeing the face of everyone I care about, when I could just stare at the screen all day long, without a change in expression, when I don’t have to look at the keyboard or the screen to type any longer, when I just let my fingers do the rest.

I hate feeling this way.

There is no reason.

There is nothing to help me get out of this but time.

There is no permanent fix.

I will feel this way once again, at the slightest remark, at the slightest look, at the slightest expression of discontentment, and at the slightest criticism.

I do see many reasons to live on, though. To get through this period to get to enjoy watching the next episode, to look at the faces of the people I love, to help out someone who needs a favor.

So I know I will let this go eventually, but like I said: I will feel this way once again.

But the real test is to see how I handle myself in the moments I do not feel this way. How I live my life to the fullest when I have motivation to get up from this chair and go outside this house.

But what happens when I find the triggers outside? What happens if I step outside my comfort zone? I’ve been shut inside a room for the past month and a half. I’ve been feeling this way for the past year.

Solidarity has changed nothing, and I know that being a face in the crowd changes nothing either, and neither does trying to be a part of a smaller group.

Rejection and hate are only natural in this life. Shakespeare will reject me every time I ask him for a major part in the play till he deems me worthy. So I will strive towards achieving this ideal.

So to my fellow people who feel like shit for no reason: go listen to Filthy frank’s music or to Mozart. Both have equal outcomes. Both have made want to write, made me want to feel like this, and made me shake my head in slow motion as I immerse myself in the soft and hard keys of Mozart and the ear shattering pink season album (probably for very different reasons).
Or if neither helps you, suck it up and wait for it to pass (Whatever the fuck ‘it’ is) and stare at the whites of your screens till it does. Because when it does, and it will, you finally have a chance to change the things that made you feel this way. Get through all the tears which may engulf you for reasons that may not exist, and get through, which is what I’m hoping to do.




P.S: lemme know if you feel this way too, let’s feel like shit together.
P.P.S: I’m fine, nothing to worry about.
P.P.P.S: Ignore the random change in writing style and other shit mistakes. I was never paying attention.

I thought @Ken  changed his name and made fun of new members with this post xD well fuark

Nice idea man. Probably helpful to a lot of new players^^ the "mystery clan" seems to be.. well.. mysterious

and as for agreeing with your list, I think there will be a lot of bias based on who is part of which clan xD So, this could be taken purely as Guide to the best clans in @mamoudou52404 's opinion.

If this was not based on personal preference though, maybe include a criteria as to why certain clans were placed above the other and so on. That will help newbies make an informed decision. But other than that, this was a cool post. Nice to see you back