General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: SpeakingRain on September 07, 2016, 16:52:31
Title: Let Me Die
Post by: SpeakingRain on September 07, 2016, 16:52:31
Feel free to critique. This is the somewhat unpolished first chapter of my novel, Let Me Die. Just wanted to test certain target audiences. Btw, you get bonus points if you figure out what happens at the end of the chapter. ^^ This chapter is quite short, I know.
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Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: taigakun on September 07, 2016, 18:35:46
I'll be honest with you
I fucking loved it. I love reading books/stories that no matter how sci-fi or supernatural they are, they don't neglect the psychological aspects/consequences of every single action withheld, and show that it is soooo much deeper than just killing/hurting someone or doing anything at all. And you succeeded in showing that. So nicely done.
(and btw it's dark as hell and i fucking love that : D)
Looking forward to the next chapter :3
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: Toratsume Nyshn on September 07, 2016, 19:00:42
Rain g0t them skilzzz! This was an awesome read! :)
I'm gonna go with dragon or demon!! If it was a holy knight it could be demon but I'm leaning toward dragon.
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: taigakun on September 07, 2016, 19:54:32
I think she transformed into somethig like a demon or a demonic/dark angel
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: SpeakingRain on September 08, 2016, 01:04:00
Thank you all <3
And yeah, Taiga, I try to convey what's going on internally rather than just write down an action or a feeling. The mind can be a very interesting place. ^^
Cmsmurfer is right. She's a dragon that has been "reborn" :)
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: Nas on September 08, 2016, 01:38:17
This is really cool I got a Heavy Rain type feel from this and who doesn't like abit of the psychological stuff xD
Love reading stories especially of different styles
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: Salome on September 08, 2016, 07:23:03
Ooh, this is exciting. I really like your pacing on this. I've read some stuff that tries to accomplish the psychological complexities you described, but it becomes very unyielding and structurally awkward, or it defaults to redundancy. You've done a nice job in regards to balancing the vivid images, action, and internal struggle of Sera so that it's overall a satisfying work to read and experience. I actually lost my breath at one point because I was so into Sera's psyche lol.
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: Manuster on September 08, 2016, 15:52:55
I feel outdone.
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: psychorx on November 05, 2016, 21:01:28
I loved it! She's a dragon, right? Can I expect a chapter two? xD
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: JT_EPIC on November 06, 2016, 14:32:21
Eh...
Title: Re: Let Me Die
Post by: mamoudou52404 on November 06, 2016, 15:16:59
Normally I hate dark and chilling stuff, its just not for me,
BUT THAT WAS AMAZING, shes definetly a dragon right??