Shinobi Life Online
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: waly206 on April 07, 2016, 22:52:33
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I just what to know what you all think about.
I was cleaning out my garage and, hidden away in a back corner, I found an old shoebox. The box was heavier than it should have been. When I open it up, I found cash—$40,000, to be exact and I don’t know where it come from, I was nervous because that means someone left it here for a reason or forgot it, but they would have come for it, if he remembers he left and I was the only one living here since I moved in, so I left it where I found to check on it tomorrow. So when tomorrow came I went to check on it again but someone knock on my door so I went running to the door and on the other side of the door there was a man with a grey suit and looked very intimidating and very tall too, so then he ask “ Have you seen a box” and I ask “ A box with what” and he answer “ a box with money I left here because I forgotten when I left it here” I said “yeah” so I let him in and walk him to the garage and give him the box and that's last time I hear about that guy that, I did not even know his name.
Any spelling or grammar errors please tell me. :)
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Uh.. not so much grammar and spelling mistakes, but your story is quite low level and doesn't flow nicely at all. I understand if English is not your first language, but if you're interested in writing stories of high quality then it's best if you practice structuring sentences, making them flow nicely, etc.
Other than that, the story is good :).
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Thanks I write sometimes and this story I wrote at school and I was not really concentrating with the noise.
Thanks again I'm going to try to work on that.
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As Child said "it's best if you practice structuring sentences, making them flow nicely, etc."
The story was rather random.
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lol yeah, most of the stories I write are random.